Photo of Emory student: AP

First, it was offensively inauthentic sushi at the Oberlin dining halls. Now, a new—and somehow worse—wickedness torments America’s students: Someone drew the word “Trump” on the ground at a college.

Thanks to a new report in the Emory Wheel, I’ve learned two things: the student paper at Emory is named the Wheel, and a bunch of these kids are extreme weenie babies, so sensitive and unprepared for the mild psychic hurdles of our shared reality that they are literally crying out in pain because of a letters they saw when they turned their heads in certain directions.

Because those letter made up words. And not just any words—political words (Words = literal murder? Unclear):

Students protested yesterday at the Emory Administration Building following a series of overnight, apparent pro-Donald Trump for president chalkings throughout campus.


Many students carried signs featuring slogans such as “Stop Trump” or “Stop Hate” and an antiphonal chant addressed to University administration, led by College sophomore Jonathan Peraza, resounded “You are not listening! Come speak to us, we are in pain!” throughout the Quad.


“I’m supposed to feel comfortable and safe [here],” one student said. “But this man is being supported by students on our campus and our administration shows that they, by their silence, support it as well … I don’t deserve to feel afraid at my school,” she added.

The students in question seem unable to distinguish between a wall with “Trump 2016" written on it and Donald Trump, the person:

Singh reported having seen multiple chalkings that read “Trump 2016” between Cox Hall Bridge and the Dobbs University Center (DUC). “What I also saw on the steps near Cox [Hall] Bridge was ‘Accept the Inevitable: Trump 2016,’” he said. “That was a bit alarming. What exactly is the inevitable? Why does it have to be accepted?”

It’s true that Trump’s vile campaign has moved straight past the bounds of rhetoric into actual acts of violence, but chalk drawings on a college campus are not instances of such acts. The proposed solution to an imagined non-problem is as vague and fractious as you’d guess:

One student asked if Emory would send out a University-wide email to “decry the support for this fascist, racist candidate” to which Wagner replied, “No, we will not.” One student clarified that “the University doesn’t have to say they don’t support Trump, but just to acknowledge that there are students on this campus who feel this way about what’s happening … to acknowledge all of us here.”

Better yet: Free pizza with pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face? Or, short of a pointless email “to acknowledge all of us here,” the university could reject fascism by acting itself like some sort of fascist police apparatus, as is apparently the plan:

The University will review footage “up by the hospital [from] security cameras” to identify those who made the chalkings, Wagner told the protesters. He also added that if they’re students, they will go through the conduct violation process, while if they are from outside of the University, trespassing charges will be pressed.

Don’t go to Emory.