“Where have all the baby Jesuses gone?” ask New Jersey citizens, befuddled by the sudden disappearance of our lord and savior, the newborn lamb.

According to ABC 7, police are searching for a Jesus thief or thieves in New Jersey, where five churches in four towns report that their statues have been stolen, straight from the mangers.

A spokesperson for the Newark Archdiocese, Jim Goodness, released the following statement:

”It is a police matter. We’ve asked all the parishes to report it to police. It certainly is very distressing that is taking place at this time of year. Our hope is that this is nothing more than a prank. We are hoping police will find out who is doing this.”

Local marauding teens, dark of soul and black of heart, are the chief suspects. However, this is not the first time the little Lord has been stolen from his nest. Apparently, the theft is a yearly tradition in New Jersey, so depraved that last year, a GPS tracker was installed in one of the Jesuses to keep him from galavanting around town.

What has this world come to, when a baby Jesus may not lay peacefully in his cradle? And where in the world are the baby Jesuses of New Jersey?

Contact the author at melissa.cronin@gawker.com.