If you're a typical gentrifier in an "up and coming" Brooklyn neighborhood, you've probably said to yourself, "I wish I could invest in property here while it's still cheap." Now you can, thanks to another god damn Wall Street goon with a great investment idea.
Walk around any Brooklyn neighborhood that has long been primarily home to black people and is now becoming a favored destination for young white people due to its relatively low real estate prices and relatively convenient location. Look at how fast the real estate prices rise, once the gentrification fever takes hold in earnest. Contemplate how easy it would be to get in on this thing.... if only you had an extra couple of million dollars, to buy yourself one of these houses. Sigh in despair at your inability to ever raise that kind of cash. Then, console yourself: "Well... at least I am not part of the problem like all these other white people. Gentrification, UGH."
Well now, a new investment fund by a former Goldman Sachs guy named Seth Weisman is making it easier than ever for you, the only moderately upwardly mobile investor, to cash in on the inevitable gentrification process without actually having to buy an entire property. Bloomberg reports:
The veteran of Goldman Sachs Group Inc. and hedge fund Perry Capital LLC started CityShares, which enables participants to reap rewards from increasing apartment demand in gentrifying areas. Investors who pledge at least $100,000 to one of the program's neighborhood-focused funds become partial owners of a group of buildings and share in the rental income. The first pool is more than halfway toward its target of $5 million, which will be used to buy properties in Brooklyn's Bedford-Stuyvesant.
Harlem in upper Manhattan is next, with a goal of as much as $20 million. Additional funds are planned for Bushwick, Crown Heights and Sunset Park, all in Brooklyn.
Harlem. Bed-Stuy. Crown Heights. This investment fund is essentially a well-structured way for rich outsiders to more easily come into a black neighborhood and make a bunch of money taking every last god damn thing like they always do.
1. This is a really good investment. If I had a spare $100K I would totally invest in this cause you would not believe how rents are going up in Bed-Stuy these days.
2. Motherfucking white devil Wall Street motherfuckers coming in here and taking every last god damn thing like they always do. Where is the justice in this world?
Brooklyn is over. Get in on it while you still can!