Congrats—you did it! In spite of some racially insensitive comments and “Can I touch your hair?” queries during February, you survived another tumultuous year as a Privileged American Man (I know, I know—I’m surprised, too). Sure, you lost a few friends and family members along the way, but such is life in a post-Rachel Dolezal World. Fortunately, Stanley, the black kid who lives two doors down, is still mostly cordial with you. Thus, to reward his continued friendship despite your continued ignorance, you’ve decided to be a pal and gift him some “pretty super stuff” (your words, not his). As the ancestors say: One man’s white guilt is another man’s good fortune.

Happy holidays!

One-Year Subscription to SoundCloud Pro ($55)

Because Stanley is always going on about how he discovered This New Artist That You Should Listen To on SoundCloud. (He’s usually right.)

Your Face In Mine by Jess Row ($11)

Because what better way to let Stanley know you’re not a racist and that you truly “get” the whole “black experience” thing than by giving him a book about a white guy who gets “racial reassignment surgery” (aka RIDS) to become black?

BAE, the Black-Singles Dating App (Free)

Because is so 2001 but mostly because everybody deserves to find their one, true bae.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Seasons 1-6 ($77)

Because it’s one of the best sitcoms of all time—haters be damned.

The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander ($13)

Because Michelle Alexander offers one of the most significant analyses of how the US criminal justice system operates to suppress its black citizenry. It’s required reading, and book so important you bought one for yourself too.

A Canvas-Print of President Obama Riding a Unicorn ($10)

Because, really, who wouldn’t want this? (Ok, besides Rush Limbaugh.)