The two men technically at the center of the standoff at a federal wildlife refuge in Oregon may have turned themselves in. But that doesn’t mean the angry mob of armed militia cosplayers holed up in an empty nature trail lobby is ready to give up the good fight. Instead, they’ve been running around Facebook asking for snacks and socks. And, honestly, the longer this lasts, the more fodder for us. So we’ve decided to help their little occupation out.

Our crazed militiamen kindly asked for the following various basic necessities you’d think men claiming to be prepared to last the winter would have thought of beforehand:

They offered this oddly nonspecific mailing address that looks like a postal worker’s nightmare:

General Mail
John Ritzheimer or Blaine Cooper
Burns, OR 97720

Will our care package actually arrive? Hard to say. But should it find its way into Bundy hands, they’ll be the proud owners of the following :

Enjoy the gifts, guys—and good luck. You’re going to need it.

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