For about an hour this evening, a scorned sex app went on a series of 140-character tirades, teaching all of us two very important things: 1) Tinder, just like us, cannot handle rejection. And 2) the monster running its Twitter account has no idea what North Korea is.
The freakout comes in response to this Vanity Fair article, which cites Tinder and other fuck-facilitating apps of its ilk as the final downfall of dating scenes everywhere. Just like every other Tinder trend piece that came before it.
But apparently, Tinder (or the deeply sad intern running its Twitter account) has had enough rejection and is furious that Vanity Fair didn’t discuss the article with its PR department first. Not even a final phone call (“ghosting,” the kids call it). So since the magazine refuses to talk, Tinder’s decided to whine to us on Twitter instead.
The entire, 30-tweet long tantrum lies below and in chronological order for your reading convenience. A fact for which I am deeply, deeply sorry.
-@VanityFair Little known fact: sex was invented in 2012 when Tinder was launched.August 11, 2015
Neither a fact nor a good joke. Off to a wonderful start.
Our actual data says that 1.7% of Tinder users are married — not 30% as the preposterous GlobalWebIndex article indicated.August 11, 2015
It's disappointing that @VanityFair thought that the tiny number of people you found for your article represent our entire global userbase 😏August 11, 2015
Next time reach out to us first @nancyjosales… that’s what journalists typically do.August 11, 2015
How dare you not consult a for-profit brand’s public relations department in your quest for Truth.
The Tinder Generation is real. Our users are creating it. But it’s not at all what you portray it to be.August 11, 2015
Tinder users are on Tinder to meet people for all kinds of reasons. Sure, some of them — men and women — want to hook up.August 11, 2015
Just like in real life. And in the many years that existed before Tinder.August 11, 2015
But we know from our own survey data that it’s actually a minority of Tinder users.August 11, 2015
Our data tells us that the vast majority of Tinder users are looking for meaningful connections.August 11, 2015
And our data also tells us that Tinder actually creates those meaningful connections.August 11, 2015
Are your eyes bleeding? Mine are.
We have tons and tons of emails from people that have all kinds of amazing experiences on Tinder.August 11, 2015
It’s about meeting new people for all kinds of reasons. Travel, dating, relationships, friends and a shit ton of marriages.August 11, 2015
Talk to the female journalist in Pakistan who wrote just yesterday about using Tinder to find a relationship where being gay is illegal.August 11, 2015
Talk to our many users in China and North Korea who find a way to meet people on Tinder even though Facebook is banned.August 11, 2015
An incredible story of overcoming every obstacle: Starvation, lack of consistent heat or power, systematic human rights violations, and —worst of all—blocking Facebook.
Talk to the many Tinder couples — gay and straight — that have gotten married after meeting on Tinder.August 11, 2015
Or talk to people that have made some of their best friends on Tinder.August 11, 2015
“Some of my best friends are bla—nketed with the love they found on Tinder.”
We love ALL of these #SwipedRight stories. Tinder is simply how people meet.August 11, 2015
The ability to meet people outside of your closed circle in this world is an immensely powerful thing.August 11, 2015
So we are going to keep focusing on bringing people together. That’s why we’re here. That is why all of us at Tinder work so hard.August 11, 2015
If you want to try to tear us down with one-sided journalism, well, that’s your prerogative.August 11, 2015
It’s about ethics in fuck-app journalism.
You could have talked about how everyone on Tinder is authenticated through Facebook. And how we show users the friends they have in common.August 11, 2015
Or you could have talked about how everyone on Tinder is on an equal playing field.August 11, 2015
Users can’t message each other unless BOTH people are interested in one another.August 11, 2015
You could have talked about how users build a Tinder profile that expresses who they are.August 11, 2015
Or how millions of Tinder users have connected their Instagram accounts, so potential matches can learn more about them.August 11, 2015
Why is it still going.
This all creates social accountability so that Tinder users treat each other well.August 11, 2015
Instead, your article took an incredibly biased view, which is disappointing.August 11, 2015
But it’s not going to dissuade us from building something that is changing the world. #GenerationTinderAugust 11, 2015
Changing the world one starving, sex-crazed North Korean prisoner at a time.
Update 11:45 p.m.: It gets worse.
@summeranne I in fact got a pitch from a PR person that Tinder was about to tweet storm, and I should watch for it.August 12, 2015
In other words, multiple people had to agree that, yes, these are good and clever things to say in a public forum.
Sleep well, kids.
Update 12:45 a.m.:
A Tinder spokesperson provided us with the following statement over email:
We have a passionate team that truly believes in Tinder. While reading a recent Vanity Fair article about today’s dating culture, we were saddened to see that the article didn’t touch upon the positive experiences that the majority of our users encounter daily. Our intention was to highlight the many statistics and amazing stories that are sometimes left unpublished, and, in doing so, we overreacted.
For never was a story of more woe, than this of Tinder and its lack of understanding on how to appeal to its user base in any meaningful way-eo.