For about an hour this evening, a scorned sex app went on a series of 140-character tirades, teaching all of us two very important things: 1) Tinder, just like us, cannot handle rejection. And 2) the monster running its Twitter account has no idea what North Korea is.

The freakout comes in response to this Vanity Fair article, which cites Tinder and other fuck-facilitating apps of its ilk as the final downfall of dating scenes everywhere. Just like every other Tinder trend piece that came before it.

But apparently, Tinder (or the deeply sad intern running its Twitter account) has had enough rejection and is furious that Vanity Fair didn’t discuss the article with its PR department first. Not even a final phone call (“ghosting,” the kids call it). So since the magazine refuses to talk, Tinder’s decided to whine to us on Twitter instead.

The entire, 30-tweet long tantrum lies below and in chronological order for your reading convenience. A fact for which I am deeply, deeply sorry.

Neither a fact nor a good joke. Off to a wonderful start.

How dare you not consult a for-profit brand’s public relations department in your quest for Truth.

Are your eyes bleeding? Mine are.

An incredible story of overcoming every obstacle: Starvation, lack of consistent heat or power, systematic human rights violations, and —worst of all—blocking Facebook.

“Some of my best friends are bla—nketed with the love they found on Tinder.”

It’s about ethics in fuck-app journalism.

Why is it still going.

Changing the world one starving, sex-crazed North Korean prisoner at a time.

Update 11:45 p.m.: It gets worse.

In other words, multiple people had to agree that, yes, these are good and clever things to say in a public forum.

Sleep well, kids.

Update 12:45 a.m.:

A Tinder spokesperson provided us with the following statement over email:

We have a passionate team that truly believes in Tinder. While reading a recent Vanity Fair article about today’s dating culture, we were saddened to see that the article didn’t touch upon the positive experiences that the majority of our users encounter daily. Our intention was to highlight the many statistics and amazing stories that are sometimes left unpublished, and, in doing so, we overreacted.

For never was a story of more woe, than this of Tinder and its lack of understanding on how to appeal to its user base in any meaningful way-eo.

Contact the author at