Earlier today, the President of the United States and the holder of the highest office in the land, Barack Obama, debuted the first, official Twitter account run by the President and the President alone. Because of how the internet works, hundreds of people immediately asked the President to please sit on my face, daddy. And because of how the Presidential Records Act works, every single one of those tweets, from “spank me” to “fist me,” is getting filed away in the official White House archives.

From the White House Online Privacy Policy:

On Twitter, the White House automatically archives “tweets” from official White House accounts, “direct messages” sent to or from official White House accounts, and “mentions” (tweets from other users to official White House accounts; these tweets contain an @ and the username of an official White House account (e.g., @WhiteHouse).

In other words, for the sole purpose of complying with the Presidential Records Act, the White House will be archiving Twitter user “shithead”’s request that President Obama, Michelle Obama, and former President Bill Clinton all “slay him.” Along with every one of these.

Congratulations, kids. We’ll see you in the Library of Congress.

Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com.