Have you heard the latest absolutely scandalous DC media gossip? It seems that some less than upstanding publicity hounds attempted to sully the august White House Correspondents Dinner event with corporate whoredom. Can you imagine?

The century-old White House Correspondents Association does not produce the annual White House Correspondents Dinner as some venue for undercover corporate branding of second-rate vodka companies. On the contrary. The White House Correspondents Dinner is a venue for overt corporate branding by second-rate media companies. It is an event which strenuously upholds the proud Washington tradition of sucking the dick of the powerful and allowing journalists to grovel at the feet of anyone more famous than them and beg for selfies from bored movie stars for one glorious, revolting evening.

Get it straight.

So when it was discovered that someone at The Atlantic had passed two WHCD tickets on to Grey Goose Overpriced Vodka and Advertisement Corporation, and Grey Goose had passed those tickets on to a couple of Youtube superstars who promised to blog and tweet and generally broadcast the entire evening on Grey Goose’s behalf, there was quite a predictable uproar, followed by a rapid apology from the dastardly perpetrators. “Our group exists to argue strenuously for more openness and transparency from the White House, not to lend our name to corporate publicity stunts,” the WHCA’s president told the Washington Post. “The mission of the WHCA is clear and we have had a longstanding commitment to not engaging in the commercialization of our organization or our dinner.”

The mission of the WHCA is clear: to host a grotesque annual event that confirms every American’s worst suspicions about the craven, spineless, power-worshiping nature of the press corps assigned to cover our political leaders. The White House Correspondents Dinner is not the sort of low-class event that some liquor-sponsored Youtube stars could attend; it is the sort of low-class event that those people who sued us over their “McSteamy” sex tape will be attending, as guests of CNN.

Get it straight.

[Photo of the cream of the White House press corps: Getty]