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What in the "Dear Mr. Jesus"/"Christmas Shoes" hell is this tripe? I can hear Joan Rivers going, "Ugh!" over and over in her grave in response to this treacly tribute from Kristin Chenoweth on today's episode of The View. Chenoweth sings her own "Borrowed Angels" ("They can't stay forever / 'Cause they're heaven sent / And sometimes heaven needs them back again") to rhapsodize a woman who made being a devil her life's work. At least Howard Stern's "dry pussy " bit was tonally consistent with Rivers' output, if not plausible. Does anyone really think that heaven needed back Joan Rivers?

Whatever, though, it made Rosie O'Donnell cry, and she was apparently good friends with Rivers, so what do I know?

O'Donnell rejoined The View cast for today's Season 18 premiere. She spent the first segment in bare feet on account of her sciatica. The real star, though, was the show's other Ro, Rosie Perez, who dazzled with her story about getting so into listening to Beyoncé that it caused her to fall off a treadmill.

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Perez also asked fellow rookie host Nicolle Wallace (who served as George W. Bush's communications chief and a senior advisor for the McCain–Palin campaign) these three questions during Wallace's "Ask Me Anything" segment: "One, what was it like when you first met her? Two, did the winking get on your nerves? And three, when did you just want to pop her?"

I looooove Rosie Perez. Why don't you just give her awl the money?