The Tragically Boring Kickstarters That Got Zero Dollars From Backers
Have any interest in funding a zombie outbreak response team? How about an eight-foot-tall sculpture of a hummingbird, or the children's book Ants in the Plants at Gramp's? Do these Wig Hatz 4 Cancer inspire you to open your wallet? If you answered "yes" to any of them, congratulations: You're the only person who ever has.
Kickended, a website by Silvio Lorusso, archives Kickstarter campaigns that ended before receiving a penny of financial backing. It is a gallery of dreams deferred. Terrible, unimaginative dreams deferred.
Like Lost Traveler, a film about "a man who lost everything and is traveling on the open road to find himself."
Or The Breckenridge Line, "a historical action/drama movie about one man's journey home." Lots of movies about men and roads here.
Or, jesus, Swag Dawg Lacrosse:
"The lacrosse player has a passion for the game that's unparalleled. When they get their first stick, something changes. They become part of a culture that embraces that athlete as a lax bro. These guys have a style all their own. They originated swag, if you will."
Or Lie to Me—billed as the world's "first novel in inner mind high-definition"—whose bizarre pitch video is too busy boasting about its creator's massive bank account and fleet of Ferraris to ever actually address the project at hand. (Its ambitious goal: raise $274)
The schizophrenic oddness of the last video is the exception. Most of these ideas are not spectacular in their badness; they're just bad, boring and bad, like most art, most ideas, most human experience. "Kickended is the place where campaigns with no backers live a second life," Lorusso writes by way of explanation. "Free from the pressure of money raising, these retain the purity of abstract ideas."
They also offer small but uncomfortably intimate looks at their creators, who could not find a single friend to pitch in ten bucks, their big ideas met with total silence. Who are these lonely people?