Photo: AP

We in the journalism field suffer the daily indignities of a dying industry, so sometimes our bosses try and cheer us up, usually with room temperature pizza sitting in clotted pools of grease. Bad pizza is better than some alternatives, though, such as the cake recently served to some staffers of The Oregonian which caused their bodies to spew shit like a punctured oil pipe.

The Willamette Week reports:

The Oregonian has begun rebuilding its staff—it welcomed three new reporters in the past couple of weeks—and newsroom morale after years of buyouts.

But one feel-good initiative, a May 31 cake-and-coffee gathering to recognize outstanding staff performance, went awry.

The Multnomah County Health Department is now investigating a potential norovirus outbreak after at least 14 people came down with stomach pain and severe diarrhea after the event.

Oh god.

According to a local health department spokesperson who spoke with the Willamette Week, one Oregonian staffer contracted the sort of stomach virus that has previously turned cruise ships into floating Bonnaroo porta potties.

Oregonian editor Mark Katches told the Willamette Week that the paper will continue “doing these types of celebrations in the future,” and, when you think about it, diarrhea is sort of like the body’s confetti.