A big surprise today, a shock, a dark horse galloping from nowhere to win the championship: the New York Times declares that "The Super-Short Workout" is the "fitness trend" of 2014. A trend that they invented!
Gretchen Reynolds, the unfortunate person whose job it is to spoon-feed reassuring health-related pablum to the weak-willed and, I'm sad to say, lazy subscribers of the New York Times, reports in her year-end roundup that "The big story in exercise science this year was the super-short workout." Coincidentally, Gretchen Reynolds and the New York Times have produced not one but two separate "apps" that you may download instructing you how to do a seven-minute workout that sucks! These are the sort of coincidences that cause even the most skeptical atheist to wonder about god's presence, and also to realize again that you should not take fitness advice from the New York Times.
What is, in reality, the top fitness trend of 2014? The answer is: there are no "trends" in fitness. Nor are there any tricks, shortcuts, or amazing discoveries. There is only one timeless immutable truth: Pain. Drink it in. Enjoy it. You must walk through the pain of exertion in order to emerge in the promised land of fitness. The fitness trend of 2014 is pain. The fitness trend of 1014 was pain. The fitness trend of 2014 B.C. was pain. Try to download that "app" onto your "smart phone," New York Times subscribers—you can't. You can only do endless squats while you wait, contemplating the satisfying future that awaits you after this hardcore burn.
Check Gawker.com this time next year to find out what the fitness trend of 2015 was.
[The top fitness trend of 1964: pain. Photo via AP]