Meet New York's Latest "Celebrity" Cokehead!

Moe · 08/28/08 10:39AM

So Peaches Geldof is moving to New York! And who praytell is Peaches Geldof? Besides the obvious spawn of that Irish new wave guy who might have faded into obscurity had he not gotten enormously rich helping starving African children or something. Well she is an avid cocaine consumer of course. And a socialite with a reality show of some sort in the UK. She missed being born in the nineties by about 200 days, which would make her nineteen, meaning she is off the market right now because she is married to some heretofore unknown "musician" with floppy hair (this happened in Las Vegas of course). She has a sister who is even younger and dumber. And now in the grand tradition she is planning on getting her "fresh start" living in "anonymity" and attending the "educational institution" NYU. Oh yes, and also, "working" at a "pop culture" magazine. Ooooh oooh which one??Nylon, duh. They also gave a column to Cory Kennedy, remember? Anyway, congrats on the gig, Peaches, and welcome to New York. When you find yourself stepping a little livelier and being unfriendly to people that's when you'll know you're home. ThisIsLondon

Wanna Become A Member Of Hot Young Hollywood? Take Your Top Off Already!

Molly Friedman · 07/18/08 06:20PM

So earlier this week we suggested tween queen of homemade kiddie porn Miley Cyrus just may have been inspired by a former teen queen of homemade, visually intoxicated porn. And, sordid as it may be, much of the Hannah Montana star's fame outside of the flyover states is quite possibly due to all those "scandalous" photos that keep popping up. Which is a good thing in the world of "All press is...", right? And here to provide some guidance in answering that question are established troublemaker and pot princess Mischa Barton and future troublemaker Hayden Panettiere.