Hamilton Nolan · 03/31/16 09:57AM

Thanks to budget cuts, the New York City Department of Transportation has stopped its graffiti removal program. Good, cause graffiti is cool.

"God Bless New York [a City I Hate]" -Ted Cruz 

Hamilton Nolan · 03/23/16 02:40PM

In New York City, you find subcultures for every sexual persuasion, bars dedicated to every football team, and food from every nation on earth. Hell, you can even find a few hundred people who support Ted Cruz.

Let the Can Collectors Collect Cans, For Chrissake

Hamilton Nolan · 03/21/16 01:19PM

The New York City municipal government would like for the city’s hordes of can collectors to stop collecting cans from curbside garbage. Hey: just let them collect the damn cans.

Hamilton Nolan · 02/26/16 04:20PM

“A majority of New Yorkers who earn more than $100,000 a year feel they’re likely to be priced out of their neighborhood, according to a new poll.”

500 Days of Kristin, Day 388: Kristin's Book Tour Lie

Allie Jones · 02/16/16 05:15PM

As we near ever closer to Kristin Cavallari’s literary debut and the sweet release of death, new details about the promotional schedule for Balancing in Heels have emerged. Today Kristin announced that she plans to embark on a cross-country “book tour” next month, making stops in “NYC, Chicago, and LA.”

Hamilton Nolan · 02/16/16 09:15AM

After a New York teenager gave a panhandler $1 last week, police say the panhandler hugged him and said “God bless you,” while stealing the boy’s $500 iPhone. The priceless lesson he received is a bargain at $501.

The NYPD Is Run by an Out-of-Touch Old Man

Hamilton Nolan · 02/04/16 09:48AM

Bill Bratton, the head of the NYPD, presides over an army of 35,000 officers and dictates law enforcement policy for a sprawling metropolis. He is also scared of riding the subway.

Always, Always Walk Down the Escalator

Hamilton Nolan · 01/22/16 02:12PM

It has come to our attention that some trolls and anarchists have been spreading false information about urban transportation efficiency—right when people need the truth the most. We are here to assure you that is always right to walk down an escalator.

Homeless in Public

Hamilton Nolan · 12/28/15 04:15PM

Homeless people are sleeping on public property. What shall we do?