What Did God Accidentally Give Bradley Cooper Instead of Nipples?

Caity Weaver · 01/06/15 05:47PM

The man who will, in the absolute best case scenario of his life, go down in history as America's second-most-famous Brad—Bradley Cooper—appears within and without the February issue of W magazine in the costume of a nearly naked French clown. Pasty and slick, straight out of the Comédie-Italienne of your nightmares, he stands in stately profile, bearing his nipples to the world.

PSA for all da Laaaadies from the NYPD: You Can Go Topless in Public

Caity Weaver · 05/15/13 03:30PM

As temperatures continue to skyrocket into the low to mid-sixties up and down the East Coast, many beautiful and strange-looking women will soon find themselves faced with the eternal conundrum of summer: how to deal with a too-hot boob. Luckily for some, the NYPD is here to remind us that anything goes in New Boob City! Whip off that top. Wipe off that top-colored body paint. Awkwardly unhook that bra with one hand unless the hook is stuck in which case pull it over your head but be careful not to stretch it. You cannot be detained, arrested, or fined for going topless in public in New York.

Dita Von Teese Says No Nipple Hair Allowed

MTanzer · 10/23/12 10:57PM

Dita Von Teese, the only burlesque queen that your mom knows by name, is currently plugging her new beauty book. In an 2600 word interview with beauty site Into The Gloss, she runs through her makeup routine in heavy detail. She also briefly talks about how she and ex-husband Marilyn Manson used to dye their hair black together, which really just warms your little black heart.

Actress Tweets Topless Pic at Random, Overjoyed Fan

Maureen O'Connor · 01/09/12 11:33AM

Perpetual sexy schoolgirl AnnaLynne McCord, who regularly makes out with her sister in front of cameras, took a topless picture of herself last night and tweeted it at a random fan, who apparently sat in dumbfounded silence when she saw the "gift" AnnaLynne had tweeted at her. "@IAMannalynne <333 ahh thanks! you are so sweet! and thats definitely a great picture!," replied @Meganrae, a random girl from Colorado with a Blogspot about nail polish.

Is Lindsay Lohan Buying Drugs in This Video?

Maureen O'Connor · 08/11/11 10:56AM

Lindsay Lohan buys something on the streets of Venice Beach. Dianna Agron thinks Lindsay is "sad." Gloria Steinem hates on the Kardashians. Rebecca Black says she got bullied out of school. Thursday gossip suspends disbelief.

Antidepression Is the New Depression

Hamilton Nolan · 08/04/11 03:54PM

Alexander technique! HIV trends! Antidepressant popularity! Imaginary wrinkles! Expensive food! Sick ticks! Scorpion medicine! Elderly genes! And some very special research by scientist perv pornographers! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—maniacally!

This Woman Grew a Nipple on the Bottom of Her Foot

Max Read · 07/18/11 07:47PM

The Online Dermatology Journal has a fascinating paper concerning "Pseudomamma on the foot," which is to say "An unusual presentation of supernumerary breast tissue," which is to say: This woman grew a goddamn nipple on the bottom of her foot. There it is! You can see it for yourself! A foot-nipple!

Does Zac Efron Have Four Nipples?

Maureen O'Connor · 07/13/11 01:54PM

The strange saga of Zac Efron's extra nipples begins in my email inbox, where a letter from a publicist landed this afternoon. Dermatologist Dr. Sandra Lee wants the world to know that Zac Efron has a third—and possible fourth—nipple. Her publicist included a photo with an arrow pointing to a Wahlbergian speck on Efron's chest. How have we never noticed this before?

You Are a Pervert For Looking at Taylor Momsen's Nipple-Taped Boobs

Maureen O'Connor · 06/13/11 12:19PM

The world politely averted its eyes when 17-year-old Taylor Momsen showed her nipple-taped boobs at a concert this weekend. Oops, did I say "politely averted its eyes"? I meant "took a million pictures and pretended to be outraged, thereby creating a flimsy excuse for publishing these perverted images."