The Nicki Minajes and the Khloe Kardashians the world over understand that the occasional slip of the nipple on live television is an occupational hazard. It happens! In fact, it seems to happen so often these days that no one cares that much when it does. But that doesn't mean ABC is cool with what happened on Good Morning America earlier today. The network issued a statement apologizing to Minaj and viewers for the offending nipple.
Khloe Kardashian wore a transparent top and no bra on Fox & Friends today, and sat there chatting with the hosts for two minutes straight, with her right nipple exposed. Did the censors not notice it? Do nipples not count when they're behind sheer fabric?
We'll admit that we stopped paying attention to the new 90210 after they demoted Lucille Bluth, but it appears from these on-set photos that producers have figured out an exciting new guest star for their reboot: the Nip Slip! Our old friend N.S. shared scenes with show lioness AnnaLynne McCord, who we remember fondly for her work on Nip/Tuck (and who probably should have kept her nip tucked here, hey-o). Let this serve as a lesson to McCord: when filming a running scene, a bra (and the occasional hamburger) can provide invaluable support. Click through for the full, uncensored photo.
Hey, you know what will be nice? Whoever the hell Barack Obama appoints to the FCC can't possibly be as incredibly asinine as the current crew. Back in 2004, popular singer Janet Jackson's nipple destroyed America's innocence forever. The FCC fined CBS stations $550,000 for allowing the nipple to terrorize the children. The Third Circuit Court of Appeals threw out the fine, because the FCC has for decades not punished fleeting, incidental nudity on television, and also because come on get over it. But the FCC is now appealing to the Supreme Court, which may find in their favor! The Supreme Court is already dealing with the FCC's fight with Fox. Fox's crime? Allowing Bono to swear on television. We want Bono off our televisions as much as the next guy, but the new FCC policy of allowing incidental, fleeting profanities in some instances, like news programs or in Supreme Court oral arguments regarding profanity, while handing fines out for random cursing during live award shows is maybe a bit arbitrary and capricious, right? Still, the FCC is liking its chances in the Fox case, and so they are going to fight the nipple thing to the bitter end. Because the founding fathers always intended us to be a nation of prudish vulgarians. (It's in the Constitution's special Unrated edition.)
Certainly the sight of Angelina Jolie topless comes as nothing new to even the most casual Jolie breast enthusiast—but that shouldn't mean that every fresh specimen isn't something worth celebrating. Take for example a recent series of photographs, shot by a paparazzo with a telephoto lens the size of a small corn silo, of the actress on a Cannes balcony. Whatever discomfort we may have experienced over this mild invasion of privacy were quickly offset by the excitement of stealing a double-helping glimpse of her Brad-only goodies. We've obfuscated the offending, glorious bits with the star of her latest animated voiceover project: We like to imagine censor-dot Kung Fu Panda is thinking, "Boobies!" to himself in a voice that sounds unmistakably like Jack Black's.