“Where have all the baby Jesuses gone?” ask New Jersey citizens, befuddled by the sudden disappearance of our lord and savior, the newborn lamb.
In a straight-to-VHS Mary-Kate & Ashley movie come to life, five New Jersey 5th graders were arrested yesterday after teachers discovered their plot to “bomb” another school’s assembly. Police say the 10- and 11-year-old students at Clifton Elementary School 11 made a “device” out of cinnamon and vinegar.
Former New York City mayor Rudolph Giuliani isn’t saying Donald Trump is right about his unambiguous claim that “thousands and thousands of people were cheering” in Jersey on 9/11. But he’s also not saying that Donald Trump isn’t not right. And to back up his timorous show of support, Giuliani trotted out a straight-up hate crime as an example.
In the rich and vibrant folklore of the storied lands of South Jersey, the most fascinating creature of all is the fabled Jersey Devil. Now, thanks to a citizen journalist in correspondence with NJ.com (motto: “True Jersey”), the mystery is solved. At long last, we have proof: The Jersey Devil is real.
New Jersey governor and snack gourmand Chris Christie hates unions. And he really hates teachers unions. So much so, in fact, that when the bridge bandit himself was asked who he thought deserved a punch in the face, he didn’t even have to blink before confidently announcing: “Oh, the national teachers union.”