Intruder Makes It Over the Fence and Through the White House Doors

Zara Golden · 09/20/14 09:20AM

Tourists and peace protesters barnacled outside the White House on Friday evening caught quite a show when a Texas man scaled the White House fence, raced across the lawn, and through the north portico doors before being nabbed by Secret Service agents.

White House Briefly Locked Down After Toddler Squeezes Through Fence

Aleksander Chan · 08/07/14 10:18PM

The potential national security threat that not enough people are talking about? Babies. A toddler squeezed through the fence in front of the White House Thursday night, triggering an alarm and sending the Secret Service into lockdown mode.

CIA's Cafeteria Food Maybe Sucks Because Good Chefs Can't Keep Secrets

Adam Weinstein · 07/17/14 04:40PM

National security wonks this week are wondering: Which U.S. spooks in Northern Virginia put out a classified ad seeking a chef with a Top Secret security clearance? Two things are known: The hiring agency runs the CIA's cafeteria, and CIA workers don't think much of their cafeteria.

NSA Spook-Turned-Twitter-Pundit Goes Dark After Dick Pic Surfaces

Adam Weinstein · 06/23/14 03:05PM

A well-known conservative pundit and secrecy expert who once worked as an NSA officer has deleted all of his social media accounts after screenshots leaked this weekend that appeared to show him sending sexy messages and a shot of his soft penis to a Twitter follower who was not his wife.

Did the CIA Just Run an Intel Operation on the Daily Beast?

J.K. Trotter · 08/07/13 01:04PM

Today the Daily Beast reported that an intercepted conference call between “more than 20 al Qaeda operatives” led nearly two dozen U.S. embassies scattered across Southwest Asia and North Africa to shut down over the weekend, a precautionary measure that American officials later extended through August 10. Based on testimony from three unnamed U.S. officials, reporters Eli Lake and Josh Rogin say al Qaeda lieutenants in Nigeria, Uzbekistan, Egypt and Islamic Maghreb discussed vague plans of attack with al Qaeda chief Ayman al-Zawahiri and the terrorist group’s Yemeni leader, Nasser al-Wuhayshi. One of the unnamed officers compared the call to a meeting of the “Legion of Doom.”

Nitasha Tiku · 06/07/13 02:35PM

Glenn Greenwald, who is on some kind of master cleanse of only leaked documents, obtained a "top secret directive" from President Obama ordering "his senior national security and intelligence officials to draw up a list of potential overseas targets for US cyber-attacks."

We Must Study Porn to Defeat Al Qaeda

Max Read · 08/13/11 03:33PM

How can we possibly eliminate terrorism? Jennifer S. Bryson, chief sex perv at the conservative Witherspoon Institute, knows the answer: We need to study porn. Closely.

Pentagon Seeks 'Internet Meme Trackers'

Adrian Chen · 08/02/11 10:35AM

Much like Justin Bieber fans, America's enemies use social media to communicate, spread rumors and coordinate. It's one of the few bad things about the internet. Now, the Pentagon is seeking "meme trackers" to figure out what's the hottest new thing in the American Enemy Blogosphere.

Looking Too Generic Can Cost You Your Driver's License

Lauri Apple · 07/17/11 01:56PM

Do people always tell you that you look "just like" someone else they know? Do you live and drive in Massachusetts? If yes and yes, then you might be in danger of losing your driving privileges, just like John H. Gass did.

Woman Arrested for Grabbing TSA Agent's Boob

Lauri Apple · 07/16/11 01:31PM

Important travel info(!!!): When Transportation Security Administration agents grope and grab your or your baby's body parts at airport security checkpoints, they're protecting America from terrorism. When prospective airplane passengers grope and grab TSA agents' body parts, it's felony sexual abuse.

War on Drugs Trumps War on Terror

John Cook · 11/08/10 12:34PM

David Headley, an American of Pakistani descent who is accused of helping plan the Mumbai terrorist attacks, was also a DEA informant. American officials received repeated warnings that Headley was planning attacks, but ignored them because drugs are really bad.

Did Someone Lose the Nuclear Launch Codes?

Max Read · 10/16/10 04:29PM

You know how there are some things that you should just never, ever lose? Like your grandmother's ashes, or, say, the authorization codes for the president to order a nuclear strike? Well apparently someone did that a few years ago.