Nelson Mandela's honorary granddaughter Naomi Campbell is sometimes charming and disarmingly even-keeled in interviews. She has seemingly renounced her cell-phone throwing ways via anger management, and discussing said anger management sometimes makes her cry. She is a changed woman...until she isn't and/or has a reality show to make interesting. Witness The Face.
The chicest, shriekingest skull in all the land, Naomi Campbell, ran the gamut of human emotions on last night's episode of Oxygen's reality modeling competition-cum-sorority rush The Face. As coach/mentor for three of the show's aspiring models, she ranted, she raved, she condescended, she laughed manically, she cried crocodile tears of cold-blooded joy, she rounded corners ominously.
Serial employee-assaulter, probable perjurer and popularizer of the phrase "I'm not here for that" Naomi Campbell is a "coach" on and executive producer of Oxygen's new modeling show The Face. Per the series' brazen ads, the reality competition combines the guts of America's Next Top Model with the team-oriented angle of The Voice. Basically, this means that supermodel mentors Campbell, Karolína Kurková and Coco Rocha are creating sororities out young (but not, you know, young enough) aspiring clothes hangers.
All of us working stiffs who have to report to the office on this slowest week of the year hate those people who are on vacation this week, right? And who could we hate more than celebrities, who are on vacation every damn day of the year? Well, here they are rubbing our noses in their beach vacations and lives of luxury. What assholes. Let's make fun of them, shall we?
Now that Fashion Week is over here in New York, it migrated to London, where Pippa Middleton was giving everyone a show in the front row. Join us on our little internet talk show where we make fun of the outfits of Naomi Campbell, Katy Perry, Rachel Weisz, Kate Winslet, and a whole lot more. It's the hottest thing for fall.
If you were rich and famous and had a movie to promote, you would be in the south of France right now basking in the sun and strolling down the red carpet in a couture creation. But you're not. You're reading this on the internet somewhere. Because we're jealous, let's all make fun of the stars who are there, shall we?