The Scientologist who voices Bart Simpson used the character in robo-calls promoting a Los Angeles-area cult event. Simpsons creator Fox could not have been pleased.
Now that we know the voice of Bart Simpson is a full-on "Clear" scientologist, we had to wonder what Bart would sound like were he played by the Clearest of All Clears: Mr. Tom Cruise! In this video mashup keenly edited together by Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer, our favorite yellow-haired toon turns from a loveable little menace whose tagline is "Don't have a cow, man" to an eerie little OT in-training who abides by the mantra "Anything LRH does." We can't help but wonder what would've gone down had the little guy had had the powers of Xenu with him during that climactic final scene in The Simpsons Movie. We imagine that Bart, embiggened with the energy of the alien king, could have extracted the entire family from the Springfield bubble himself, saving Homer all those motorcycle-induced scrapes and bruises.