In the rich and vibrant folklore of the storied lands of South Jersey, the most fascinating creature of all is the fabled Jersey Devil. Now, thanks to a citizen journalist in correspondence with NJ.com (motto: “True Jersey”), the mystery is solved. At long last, we have proof: The Jersey Devil is real.
The beaked and eight-tentacled monsters with which we enjoy a tenuously shared existence on this Earth are no longer content to sit placidly in their tanks and their oceans. Cephalopods the world over are rising up and out of the water, from Australia to the Pacific Northwest, and no land-dweller is safe.
Now that polio is out of control in Pakistan, the White House has finally decided to let it be known that the CIA is very sorry about using public-health efforts as cover in its secret war—thereby encouraging anti-vaccination violence—and we won't do it anymore. (Unless we're lying about that, as more misdirection.)