Bodily Fluids, Mafia Haunt Twitterati

Ryan Tate · 12/03/09 09:16PM

A San Franciscan unintentionally witnessed a sort of in-car tune up; a j-schooler scheduled a sit-down with a reputed mobster and a lady in fur left a bathroom in terrible shape. The Twitterati were traumatized.

You Know Who Else Was a Grammar Nazi?

Ryan Tate · 08/19/09 05:21PM

Jake Tapper needled the White House over word usage; one blog company taunted another over font usage; and an editor got heckled over link usage. The Twitterati forgot their history.

And Then There Was Molls

Molly McAleer · 10/17/08 07:30PM

Here she is: my final Defamer baby, ready to be consumed by you, Death Star Employees and plebes alike. I took a slightly different approach than you are used to, and I'm loosely referring to this piece as my Love Letter to Hollywood, a city that I have learned to be totally flippin' bananas about while working at this fine blog. Much of my early days at Defamer and all of my most memorable moments took place on this very Walk of Fame and it only seemed right to try and find a way to say thank you to this city and its people for helping me find my way.To throw some more specific holla: Mark Lisanti, your influence on my life is undeniable. I can't thank you enough for the opportunities you've given me and for including me in what has been one of the greatest things I've ever done in my life. Seth - The amount of time we spend together alone is enough to have made you one of my best friends this year. I'll never drink another iceroonie or eat another piece of mee-so KAWD and not think of you, my blue-eyed hilarity machine. If you ever need someone to go on a three-day bender in TJ with, you know who to call. And once again, I'm sorry I texted you the words "Let's get crunk" six times on New Year's Eve. In retrospect, that wasn't cool. Mark Graham, you're the one who gave me breaks I arguably didn't deserve and I can't say thank you enough. Thank you for putting up with my occasional brattitude, thank you for your constantly positive outlook and thank you for agreeing that Gregory and Migle were totally boning on Kid Nation. They were boning. You and me, dude. We called that. Stu, you really spruced this joint up. Your intelligence, wit and kindness will always stick with me. Next time I'm in New York, the brown liquor of your choice is on me. Kyle, it hasn't been long, but it's been long enough for me to know that you and I are gonna be friends for a really long time. Then I'll get famous and ignore you. Look, babe: you get it. All J/Ks aside, you've got my love on lockdown. You'll never have to ask where this Yeezey is. Never. Douglas. Mr. Reinhardt, you're very special to me. I don't know what I did to earn your admiration, but I have few friends in the world who are as quick to throw down for me as you. I'm not even sure if I deserve to have someone be as nice to me as you are, but thank you for everything. You're the kinda kid who's going to set the world on fire, one Boner Party at a time. Alex Goldberg, my NYC counterpart and Tumblr-PIC: You've got that kind of crazy, sexy, cool attitude that I'm all about. Meeting you has been one of my greatest privileges here. I could just drink your soul and then write a blog entry all about it. Jim Kleckner, who took all 4,600 stills that make up this final video, thank you for your inspiration and friendship. To the stars of my videos - The WGA Strikers, the Superheroes, Franco the Pretzel Guy and my generous friends who have tirelessly worked with me: Ed, Alexis, Mel, Kendall, Johnny and Glen from Coffee Bean. Thanks for letting me shove a camera in your face so I could get a paycheck. And report the news. If I could give each and everyone of you a snickerdoodle and a hug, you can bet I would. And finally, to the readers and commenters who've stuck by me: Let's make out. You guys "get it" and "getting it" is just about the sexiest thing anyone can do these days. I'd like to page the view out of each and every one of you. If you want to find me, I'm here. And I miss you already. -Molls To Do: Friday · The Roots and Gym Class Heroes at the Palladium · We The People: Documentary Film Fest at the Echo Park Film Center · Say Hi at the Echo Saturday · Patti Smith at the Orpheum · Fourplay at the Lancaster Performing Arts Center · Sleeping Beauty at Theater West Sunday · Mary J. Blige at the Gibson Amphitheater · Twist and Shout at the Crown City Theater · Jeff Garlin's Combo Platter at UCB

Molls Explains How She's Exactly Like Madonna

Seth Abramovitch · 10/15/08 07:20PM

In this, your third-to-last encounter with Defamer videographer and ToDoLogist extraordinaire Molly McAleer, Molls digests today's news that Madonna and Guy Ritchie are divorcing. (She also digests some Ben and Jerry's. We always admired her for being one of the most lactose-tolerant people we know.) But wait! Just when you think she's about to rail on the Material Lady for running into A-Rod's slimy embrace, Molls goes and does the ol' point of view switcheroo on you, and celebrates the singer's bold new reincarnation as a dominatrix divorcee. Your To Dos are after the jump:· Your Girlfriend's Spooktacular Halloween Show at Art/Works Theater · The Virgins at the Mayan · John C. Reilly at Largo

Is It Live, or is It Molls?

STV · 10/14/08 05:25PM

At first we were alarmed to espy the predicament in today's To Do video, in which Molls appears to have fallen prey to a sadist whose taste for bondage comes second only to the imposition of his/her cruel fashion torture. Soon, however, the peril gave way to a baffled fetish trance, and Wagandstuff came to her rescue anyway, so we cancelled the 9-1-1 call and moved right on to plotting our evening from the To Do's herein. Join us, won't you?· Santogold at the Wiltern · Stand Up For Change at the Hollywood Improv · Weezer at the Forum

Michelle Rodriguez Holds Vibrator Hostage!

Seth Abramovitch · 10/10/08 06:35PM

So recidivist actress Michelle Rodriguez apparently held a vibrator hostage recently, and Molls—a longtime proponent of personal pleasuring devices and a Pleasure Chest Platinum MasterCard holder—has a lot to say on the subject. Have at it, Molls! And once you're done with that, here's some things to do for the weekend:FRIDAY · Joan Osbourne at the El Rey · Duffy at the Orpheum ·Waiting in the Wings at Theater West SATURDAY · The Crystal Method at the Vanguard · Maya Rudolph and Fred Armisen at Largo · Denali at the Echoplex SUNDAY · LA/Valley Pride at CBS · This Beautiful City at the Kirk Douglas Theater · The Mighty Regis at Safari Sam's

The Song Of The Summer Is A Little Late

Seth Abramovitch · 10/09/08 06:04PM

Molls's ongoing love affair with Beyonce isn't exactly a secret—she can regularly be found crab-walking along the Third St. Promenade, a dutiful member of her entourage holding a boombox aloft behind her blaring "Ring the Alarm." Still, that's no reason to think the former Destiny's Child frontdiva's new single, "Put a Ring On It," isn't the jam of the fall! As you'll soon learn, there's virtually nothing you can't put a ring on, including Molls's jelly, for which we can assure you you're not even close to ready. Here's what's to do:· Comic Book Release Party at Golden Apple · Killing Joke at the House of Blues · DJ Travis Keller at Bar Chloe · Aggrolites at The Roxy

Elisabeth Hasselbeck: If You Want To See 32, Listen To Molls

Seth Abramovitch · 10/08/08 06:35PM

Let's face it: Elisabeth Hasselbeck is the anti-Christ, a yippity Right Wing parrot, a docking pod hardwired to broadcast every vermiculate talking point hatched in Karl Rove's sinister mind. But she also seems like a nice girl, doesn't she? Molls thinks so, at least—maybe it's because they're both Boston College alum—and takes time out of her schedule to lay it on the line for Liz. Heed her words, Ms. Hasselbeck, for failing to do so could result in what's seeming more and more like your inevitable fate of being scratched into a pile of hamburger meat by four co-hosts who have had quite enough of your slidewhistle voice. Here's whats to do:· New Kids On The Block at the Staples Center · The Black Lips at The Glass House · Joe Frank at Largo · The Rob Z Program at El Cid

Molls Urges You To Vote No On 8, Yes On Double-Double Animal Style

Seth Abramovitch · 10/07/08 07:26PM

We were just remarking at the lack of star-wattage speaking up on behalf of overturning the evil Prop 8—but here to fill that void is Defamer videographer Molly McAleer (and her gay husband Ed testifying via speakerphone), offering a stirring condemnation of those who would grinchily rescind gay Californians' right to marry. No on 8! No on 8! No on 8! C'mon! Go to some of the events after the jump and chant along with us!· Jackson Browne at Amoeba Music · Doug Benson's I Love Movies at UCB · Open Mic at the Hollywood Improv

Through The Vagina, To The Limit, To The Molls

Seth Abramovitch · 10/06/08 06:25PM

To paraphrase an old Mel Brooks joke, the people are revolting. ("You said it. They stink on ice.") Their cause, of course, is the unjust and untimely departure of our beloved Molly McAleer, the first and only Defamer-minted microcelebrity. Without Molls...there's just so many ways that sentence could end. Without Molls, we'd never have bodacious Kanye West airport kerfuffle/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle mashups. Or Harvey Levin sippy-cup hip hop sonnets. We wouldn't have a medley of D-list gays spelling their names on the red carpet.* And we wouldn't have the Mark Lisanti goodbye video, which never, ever fails to make us cry. Oh god—here come the waterworks again! We love you, Molls!!! *That was the one when we first realized this girl's a prodigy. Some stuff to do after the jump, if you can emerge from your comforter igloo:· Charlie Horse EP Launch Party at Hotel Cafe · Liz Phair at the Troubadour · Naomi Wolfe at the Los Angeles Central Library

Glen, The Coffee Bean Guy, Weighs In On Tonight's Vice Presidential Debate

Mark Graham · 10/02/08 07:20PM

Tonight's the night that the shrill harpies who populate The View have been carping about since late August. Yes, that's right, it's the first time the citizens of the United States get to see Sarah Palin in a completely unedited (and mostly unscripted) setting. Being the politically savvy site that we are, we approached the most politically savvy wonk that we have in our MobileMe contact book, Glen The Coffee Bean Guy, to get his thoughts on these crucial debates. It's riveting stuff, people. Enjoy!· Kurt Wagner at the Echoplex. · Hank Willis Thomas at the Hammer Museum. · Hello Dragon at the Fold.

Molls Has Some Friendly Advice For Anne Hathaway

Mark Graham · 10/01/08 06:00PM

If a Family Feud pollster approached you in the street and asked you to name which actress has had the most turbulent 2008 thus far, many of you would likely respond with Anne Hathaway. Heck, just in the last 24 hours, she's had to fend off a pesky line of questioning from David Letterman and a nasty bit of internet gossip about her behavior in the boudoir. Well, in the interest of helping her through this rough patch (and on the road to possible Oscar gold), our Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer has a bit of advice for the former Mia Thermopolis. Catch it, along with this evening's To Do's, after the jump. Enjoy!· My Bloody Valentine at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium. · Neil Diamond at the Hollywood Bowl. · Can You Rock It Like This? at the House of Blues.

Would You Punch A Shark In The Face To Save Your Dog?

Mark Graham · 09/30/08 05:40PM

Yeah yeah yeah, we know most people around the country are either talking about the failed bailout plan, Sarah Palin or those Somali pirates holding a ship for a $20 million ransom. However, around Defamer HQ, the only thing we've been talking about is that guy who punched a shark in the face to save his beloved rat terrier. As you might expect, it's a topic that's near and dear to our own Molly McAleer's heart, what with her being the proud guardian of Koreatown's most popular chihuahua, Wagandstuff. Her thoughts on the subject, along with this evening's To Do's, can be found after the jump. Enjoy!· 1000 Cats at UCB. · Rancid at the Fonda. · Chicago 10 at the Egyptian Theater.

Putting The Icing On The 'Ace Of Cakes'

Mark Graham · 09/29/08 05:15PM

Have you been losing sleep trying to figure out why the blogosphere isn't paying Ace Of Cakes any attention? Well, put that 'scrip for Ambien away because tonight you're gonna sleep the sleep of the dead after you watch our very own Molly McAleer give the much-heralded Food Network program some overdue love. Tonight's installment of Defamer To Do's can be found, as always, after the jump. Enjoy!· Death to Anders at the Echo. · War As a Way of Life at the 18th Street Art Complex. · Inside The Improvisers Studio: Mo Collins at IO West.

Welcome Clay and Lindsay, Your 2008 Gay Homecoming Royalty!

STV · 09/26/08 06:35PM

Forget it — we're not even bothering with happy hour tonight. We're going straight for our Dirt Sandwich, a heaving helping of all the entertainment news and scandal that's fit to consume from the busy week behind us. This episode features the uniquely robust flavor of Clay Aiken's truth and consequences, the savory zing of Lohan/Ronson revelations, and a soothing aftertaste of Emmys, Dancing with the Stars and swimsuit legend Sarah Palin. How about some extreme face time with Joe Biden? Hungry yet? Fine — you can have the whole thing, crafted from scratch by Defamer's resident video-delicatessen wizardess Molly McAleer. Bon appetit!

Hugh Hefner's Search For A 'Girl Next Door' Ends Here

Mark Graham · 09/26/08 05:05PM

Hugh Hefner has had better weeks. In the span of three days, Hef managed to lose not one, not two, but ALL THREE of his Girls Next Door. But don't feel too bad for the doddering old coozehound. After all, we think that we may have found a replacement girl that can quickly step into Holly, Kendra and Bridget's high-heeled shoes. Yes, that's right, our very own Molly McAleer is actively campaigning for the job (with a few caveats, natch). She makes her case and delivers you this weekend's To Do's after the jump. Enjoy!· Calvin Harris at the Fonda. · Found Footage Festival at M Bar. · Carlos Mencia at Gibson Amphitheater. SATURDAY · We the People Festival at LA Historic Park. · Juliana Hatfield at Largo. · Valley Film Festival at El Portal Theater. SUNDAY · West Hollywood Book Fair in West Hollywood Park. · Abbot Kinney Festival on Abbot Kinney. · MxPx at the House of Blues.