Married Suckers People Are Nearly a Minority

Hamilton Nolan · 12/14/11 09:33AM

Are you married? Sucker. I mean, congratulations. Sucker. In olden times men and women would agree to be joined in matrimony forever—the men receiving a regular source of sexual congress and a valuable allegiance to powerful land-owning families in nearby regions, and the women receiving a new pot and pan. Today: married people are nearly a minority. So close!!!!

Tajazzle, the Stupidest Product (and Informercial) Ever

Max Read · 12/16/10 03:10AM

Attention, ladies: Feeling insecure about... you-know-what?You might want to watch this infomercial for "Tajazzle" a three-step system to help you "Stay Dry And Smell Fresh Where It Gets Hot." Dry and "fresh"-smelling! Just the way men like it. [via]

What Else Doesn't Andy Rooney Know?

Maureen O'Connor · 05/10/10 05:26PM

Self-described "average American" Andy Rooney was recently startled to discover the existence of such rare pop culture creatures as "Lady Gaga" and "Usher." What other mainstream, vastly popular phenomena has professional old person Andy Rooney never heard of?

50 Years Of Stagnation

Hamilton Nolan · 09/04/08 10:41AM

Now that I've started getting Mad Men on Netflix, I plan to catch up with every other ad critic in the past year by cleverly inserting a reference to the show into each advertising-related item that I write. In this way we seduce you with a connection to a piece of pop culture detritus you enjoy, then use that as a catapult into our sales pitch, represented in this case by a plea for you to read the rest of this post, with the implied promise that it will be worth your while. So, remember that Mad Men episode where they're all marveling at the Volkswagen "Lemon" ad? That particular ad was a breakthrough just because of its honest, direct style. It was the opposite of Lucky Strikes' "It's Toasted" campaign—an equivalent would have been something like "Lucky Strikes—you'll die but you like them anyways." VW continued on a streak of spot-on advertising that spanned at least the next two decades. Look at this classic VW TV spot and ask yourself, has advertising advanced past this yet, idea-wise?

Morgenstern on Elephant Movies, Unforgivably

lneyfakh · 03/17/07 05:22PM

Writing in the Pursuits section of the Wall Street Journal's weekend edition today, film critic Joe Morgenstern takes approximately 70 square inches to explain why the "gory, stupid" action movie 300 is a symptom of the empty bigness that Americans now demand from their entertainment. (We'd link to it, but according to the "Notice to Readers" that pops up when you visit, the Journal's entire website is completely down.) 300 is "blood-soaked and utterly bloodless," Morgenstern writes, and its popularity is an indication of our preference for fast and loud hugeness over slow and moving smallness.