Donald Trump Admits Mistake

Brendan O'Connor · 08/05/16 07:45AM

An incomprehensibly boring controversy emerged earlier this week after the Wall Street Journal published a poorly-structured piece about Iran involving the return of frozen Iranian funds in the form of cash, which coincided with the release four detained Americans. Naturally, this triggered Donald Trump’s paranoid imagination, and he began ranting about watching a “top secret” video, leaked by the Iranian government, of an airplane covertly delivering the cash. He described the footage as having been shot at a “perfect angle, nice and steady,” which could only have been the work of Iranian state media.

Weird Little Human Error Costs Company $190 Million

Hamilton Nolan · 06/03/16 09:10AM

Most of us have a vague sense that huge, multibillion-dollar companies have, like, systems in place to prevent them from making the sort of idiot mistakes that we, normal people, make. Not necessarily true!

The Labor Movement Fucked Up By Supporting Hillary Clinton

Hamilton Nolan · 03/14/16 08:33AM

In a campaign that is increasingly being defined by the public’s weariness with inequality and aspects of free trade, the labor movement has settled on Hillary Clinton as its presumptive presidential preference. The labor movement is fucking up.

Honor the Disabilities Act by Enjoying a Showing of Edward Scissorhands

Dayna Evans · 06/23/15 04:40PM

Remember the old heartwarming classic about some handsome guy with scissors for hands, Tim Burton’s Edward Scissorhands? The one that makes you cry and laugh and reminds you that judging others by their physical disabilities is morally reprehensible? Wouldn’t you like to watch that flick in the park of one of America’s finest cities?

Jackass President Damn Near Busts His Ass

Hamilton Nolan · 03/30/15 02:16PM

Commander-in-"Whoops!" Barack Obama nearly tumbled down a whole god damn set of airplane stairs today after seemingly failing to master a skill that even toddlers have grasped—putting one foot in front of the other.

Man Claims His "ISIS" Lip Tattoo Lost Him His Job at Home Depot

Aleksander Chan · 03/23/15 09:37AM

In a misguided ode to a girlfriend, Kirk Soccorso tattooed his beloved's name on the inside of his lower lip. Her name is Isis. They have since broken up. When he showed the tattoo to his co-workers at a Long Island Home Depot discussing the extremist militant group beheading people in Syria, he was reportedly fired.

Lil Wayne Throws the Mic and Storms Off After DJ Fucks Up His Song

Jay Hathaway · 03/13/15 02:05PM

Lil Wayne really can't catch a break this week. On top of his ongoing battle with Cash Money Records over the release of his next album, he's apparently been the victim of a persistent troll: someone falsely reported a mass shooting at his home and booked him an unwanted appointment with a prostitute. At times like these, at least he can still get on stage and everything'll be alright for an hour or so.

Duo Driving Donuts on Toms River Send Dog to Icy Grave 

Aleksander Chan · 03/01/15 09:05PM

A New Jersey police dive team recovered a pickup truck that sunk into the Toms River early Sunday morning after the vehicle was spotted driving donuts on the ice. The driver and passenger later turned themselves into police; both were unharmed. Their dog was not so lucky: Police found its frozen body in the submerged truck.

Cops Mistakenly Tell Mother on Christmas They Shot and Killed Her Son 

Aleksander Chan · 12/31/14 11:50AM

Washington, D.C. police were forced to apologize to Karen Robinson after erroneously identifying her son Raymond as having been shot and killed in a shootout with cops. Officers knocked on her door at 2 a.m. Christmas Day to deliver the bad news that wasn't hers.

The New York Post Still Can't Tell Black People Apart

Dayna Evans · 12/29/14 04:26PM

In the ongoing saga that is the New York Post's egregious faceblindness, another instance of mistaken identity slipped into the paper today when the death of Staten Island man Eric Garner was rewritten with US Attorney General Eric Holder in his stead. For the full (and corrected online) article, "It's the lawlessness," you can click here.

Six Children Knock Back Booze-Filled Drinks at Joe's Crab Shack

Aleksander Chan · 11/10/14 11:54AM

At Joe's Crab Shack, where your cousin brought you once and swears isn't always that gross, you can order a Shark Bite or a Shark Nibble. They sound similar—and in a busy restaurant, one could easily be confused for the other—but they are actually different! One (the Bite) contains alcohol; the other (the Nibble) does not. Someone got confused serving a table of children aged two to eight at a Joe's Crab Shack last Wednesday in Colorado Springs.

Hamilton Nolan · 08/12/14 04:28PM

Nassim Taleb, the author of The Black Swan and one of the most original and provocative thinkers in the fields of economics and risk management, is not good at Twitter.