Our Lawmakers Are Idiots Just Like Us

Ashley Feinberg · 03/31/16 10:09AM

Government by the people, for the people would be great if we, the people, weren’t such morons. In deed, in an effort to insure that good grammar shall not perish from the earth, Official House Resolution No. 1220 comes to the good people of Missouri from Rep. Tracy McCreery, who has apparently built up some deep-seeded loathing for her colleagueses abuse of the English language. In an interview with the Missouri Riverfront Times, McCreery explained that her fellow pubic servants’ constant slips of the tongue had the affect of “nails on a chalkboard” and that “it happens pretty much daily.”

Nobody Knows Who Won Missouri

Jordan Sargent · 03/16/16 08:30AM

Last night’s primaries likely provided great clarity in the presidential races on both sides. On the Republican side, Marco Rubio dropped out after a drubbing in Florida and John Kasich took the mantle as establishment favorite after a relatively easy win in his home state of Ohio. As for the Democrats, Hillary Clinton swept Bernie Sanders in four important states. And then there’s Missouri.

If You're Scared of Gay People, Move to Missouri

Jordan Sargent · 03/09/16 11:35AM

A specific genre of news story that has emerged during this wonderful time on earth is “[place of business] refuses to [render good and/or service] for gay wedding.” You may remember the bakery in Oregon or the bakery in Colorado or the pizzeria in Indiana. This morning, after a 39-hour filibuster, the Missouri Senate tentatively passed a bill that would make the state ground zero for all further instances of boutique shops choosing not to do business with gay people.

Brendan O'Connor · 02/23/16 06:46PM

According to the Guardian, Catholics in St Louis, Missouri, find themselves confronted with an ethical dilemma over whether they are permitted to buy cookies from the troublingly feminist Girl Scouts. “Each person must act in accord with their conscience,” the archdiocese advises.

The HIV-Positive College Wrestler "Tiger Mandingo" Never Had a Chance in Court

Gabrielle Bluestone · 12/01/15 06:29PM

When the criminal trial of the HIV-positive college wrestler Michael Johnson began, BuzzFeed reports reports, his lawyer immediately fumbled her words, advising the jury her client was “guilty until proven innocent.” It was an inauspicious start to a trial that seemed, in retrospect, to have been stacked against the defendant in every way possible.

The Mizzou Blueprint: How to Fight for Higher Education 

Douglas Williams · 11/24/15 12:00PM

The events of the last month at the University of Missouri’s flagship campus in Columbia have been a sight to behold. From the seeds of student activism led by Black students in an area once known colloquially as Little Dixie, flowers have bloomed on college campuses across the country.

Brendan O'Connor · 11/10/15 11:49PM

Frazier Glenn Miller, the bloodthirsty anti-Semite convicted of murdering three people at Jewish community centers in Kansas last year, has been sentenced to death. As the sentence was announced, Miller yelled, “Heil Hitler!” None of his victims were Jewish.

Allie Jones · 11/09/15 11:30AM

The University of Missouri’s President Tim Wolfe has resigned in the wake of student criticism that he has not effectively handled racist incidents on campus. Over the weekend, a group of black players on Mizzou’s football team announced they would strike until Wolfe stepped down.