Fox News, casting about for answers in the wake of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, earlier blamed "online activity" and "gaming." This afternoon, former Arkansas governor and frequent Fox News contributor Mike Huckabee had a different idea: the shooting happened because we "removed God from our schools":
What a month it's been for Republicans and rape. Since Missouri senate candidate Todd Akin — at the time leading the polls by a wide margin — told a journalist that in the case of "legitimate rape, the female body has ways" to prevent pregnancy, prominent Republicans haven't been able to avoid putting their rapey feet in their moist, sex-obsessed mouths. Here's a recent history of Republicans on rape.
TAMPA, Fla.— There are many important things to take away from yesterday's Faith and Freedom Conference in the historic Tampa Theater. That Bono must have no idea that "Where the Streets Have No Name" and "Beautiful Day" are busy amping up a crowd of people who hold a Malthusian attitude toward his work in Africa. That the Tampa theater, while beautiful, exudes a slightly surreal gorgeous craftsmanship—like Muppet Rococo. And that a complete misunderstanding of the First Amendment will be a significant GOP plank for the rest of the election.
Why is everybody so down on rape? This is what Mike Huckabee wanted to know today, on his radio program, which also featured Rep. Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin as a guest. For instance, did you know that Ethel Waters was conceived when her mother got raped? Do you know what a world without rape would look like? A world without Ethel Waters, that's what.
Buzzfeed's Andrew Kaczynski has done us all the great and noble service of collecting the yearbook photos of 69 different politicians and political figures. Did you know that Nancy Pelosi and Elizabeth Warren were high-school foxes? That John Boehner looked like Jonah Hill playing Lurch? That Mike Huckabee, in flannel jacket and big headphones, looked like an L-train rider? That Harry Reid was way ahead of the contrast-shirt craze? That David Axelrod was, based on his photo, an honorary member of the Choom Gang? [Buzzfeed]
TPM watched Mike Huckabee's new children's educational video about 9/11 so you don't have to. What's inside? A lot of talk about how "most Muslims" aren't terrorists, a reference or two to The Kite Runner, more than a couple scenes extolling America's commitment to Israel — and no mention whatsoever of President Obama authorizing the mission that took out bin Laden.
For some strange reason, Fox News can't let go of this month-old post demonstrating—without naming him—that a figure in a White House photo was probably the CIA analyst who tracked down Osama bin Laden. Here's Mike Huckabee over the weekend: "Doesn't their name say it all? Gawker? What do you think of when you think of Gawker? Do you think, 'Oh that's the person I want to invite to my son's birthday party?'" Probably not. But for what it's worth, Gov. Huckabee, we don't really want to go to your son's birthday party, either. Mostly to avoid the dog-slaughtering.
The past few days have brought some big changes to the field of Republicans running for President in 2012. First, Mike Huckabee announced over the weekend that he wouldn't enter the race. Then, earlier today, Donald Trump officially dropped out. On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert bid adieu to both of them.
Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee won't run for president! The Fox News host, who led in several polls released over the last few months, said it was a "spiritual decision," which we think means he used a Ouija board.
For the two or three of you who don't spend every Saturday night watching Fox News already, you'll definitely want to tune in tomorrow evening. Mike Huckabee is teasing a "very important announcement" that he plans to make on his show. The inside bet is that he's pregnant again. But it may also have something to do with that 2012 presidential race that he'd be a frontrunner in.
Do you, the average Republican presidential primary voter, have any interest in knowing how Mike Huckabee spent his long career as Governor of Arkansas? He would be the frontrunner if he even bothers running, after all, and the public must know every terrible, terrible thing about him. For example: Was he picking weird fights with Natalie Portman back then, too? Perhaps you can think of some other questions. But they won't get answered, because Mike Huckabee cleaned and "physically destroyed" the hard drives of all his staff computers when he left office.