Here’s Bloomberg’s Official Portrait—And a Better, Unofficial One

J.K. Trotter · 12/30/13 12:20PM

Today the Bloomberg administration unveiled the outgoing mayor’s official portrait, which was painted by Jon Friedman and depicts Bloomberg wearing two “Big Apple” cufflinks and a Big Apple lapel, and, behind him, at least two Bloomberg LP computer terminals. The city unveiled the portrait three days after Polish artist Ismena Halkiewicz placed on the market her own (uncommissioned) portrait of the mayor, who in Halkiewicz’s version is holding an owl and framed by blood-red raindrops inscribed with the dollar sign.

Hamilton Nolan · 11/08/13 03:45PM

"I will not criticize" incoming NYC mayor Bill de Blasio, said outgoing NYC mayor Mike Bloomberg today. Remember that, everyone.

Citi Bike Is a Nazi-Muslim Plan to Firebomb New York City

Max Read · 06/05/13 03:12PM

Decades after the U.S. and British Air Forces firebombed the German city of Dresden to the ground, its citizens have finally taken their revenge by filling New York with so-called "modern firebombs": bicycles.

The Oprah Emails Mike Bloomberg Didn't Want You to See For Some Reason

John Cook · 05/03/13 10:22AM

A couple years ago, New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg did a laughably stupid thing and named Cathie Black, a rich lady-about-town who ran a bunch of magazines and newspapers as president of Hearst, as his new schools chancellor. Since Black had no qualifications for the job aside from being a rich friend of Bloomberg's, some folks objected and Black resigned after 95 humiliating days. Back in 2010, former Gawker intern Sergio Hernandez thought it might be fun to read the email traffic between Black and City Hall prior to Black's appointment, so he filed a request under New York's Freedom of Information Law. Because Bloomberg is a secretive, entitled, arrogant prick, it took more than two years and a court battle to get them.

Mike Bloomberg Will Leave the Homeless Worse Off Than He Found Them

Hamilton Nolan · 02/20/13 10:30AM

New York City Michael "Mayor Mike" Bloomberg, the 20th richest human in the world, said this yesterday about his administration's policy of requiring single adults "to prove they have no other alternatives when they are seeking access to a homeless shelter," and of barring homeless families and children from city shelters during freezing weather "if officials determine they have an alternative place to sleep:"

Your Frappuccinos Are in Danger

Hamilton Nolan · 06/01/12 11:43AM

Smooth move by thinspirational pro-ana billionaire Mike Bloomberg: he'll ban big huge sodas that poor people drink, sure, but don't worry, people who actually vote and/ or donate money to political campaigns—your precious huge syrupy Starbucks quote sweetened coffee beverages unquote will be safe, because they contain milk.

Jon Stewart Isn't Wild About Mike Bloomberg's Soda Ban

Matt Toder · 05/31/12 10:28PM

On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart expressed some concerns over Mayor Mike Bloomberg's soda ban. The problem, as Stewart sees it, is that killing ourselves through terrible diets is basically a New York tradition, and until someone puts a limit on the amount of roast beef we can shovel down our throats, we should at least be able to wash it all down.

Quit Complaining About Mayor Bloomberg’s Soda Ban, Fatsos

Drew Magary · 05/31/12 02:20PM

The second New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg's plan to ban large sodas was announced, you knew that people would use it to declare that America has become a Commu-fascist labor prison. The Atlantic called it classist. Comedy Central's political blog (they have one!) called it ridiculous. Forbes called Bloomberg a Republican Socialist. And Bernie Goldberg basically declared that the ban was a gateway law that will one day lead to the government stealing your kids in the middle of the night and harvest their organs to give to illegal immigrants.

Bloomberg Thinks the NYPD Is His Own Army

Max Read · 11/30/11 01:03PM

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg has never been accused of taking a heavy-handed approach to governing. Want to smoke? Go ahead! Want to have a little salt with your deep-fried meat product? All you, baby! Want to camp out for a few weeks in a park to protest? Who's going to stop you? Only his army.

Police Barricades Protect NYC Mayor From '24-Hour' Drum Circle

Lauri Apple · 11/20/11 07:40PM

The Occupy Wall Street protesters who had planned to throw a 24-hour drum circle party (a violation of several United Nations human rights treaties) outside NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg's Manhattan manse didn't quite make it thanks to NYPD officers and barricades. Undaunted, they held their percussive party down the street. A sax player and a cowbell armada showed up to provide ... well, not rhythms. How about sounds? Yes, sounds.