The Bay Area is flooding—with tears. A torrent is pouring from the home of writer Ayelet Waldman and her husband Michael Chabon (whom she loves more than her children), where, Waldman writes, the couple's 11-year-old son has been robbed of $120 by "Kim Kardashian: Hollywood," a cartoon game that one plays for leisure on his cellular or tablet device.
Lifestyle controversialist Ayelet Waldman and novelist Michael Chabon, but mostly Waldman, overshare the decor of their Craftsman bungalow with Remodelista. Pick your favorite line. ("The house was built in 1907 by a physician," Ayelet says. "Someone in the historical society told us he did abortions.")
Ayelet Waldman, the author who loves her husband Michael Chabon (bestselling author of The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay and other homoerotic boy-lit) and simply hates her kids, went on to her Twitter account this morning and, in an effort to speak out against Michele Bachmann's anti-HPV vaccine mutterings, shared too much once again.
Earlier today over at McSweeney's, we downloaded what's reportedly author Michael Chabon's original screenplay for Spider-Man 2. Reworked, reconsidered and rewritten a few dozen times (by three other writers; Chabon got story credit) before making its way to the screen as Sam Raimi's blockbuster, the script features some of the moody, angsty masculine hallmarks threading the Pulitzer prize-winner's novels like Wonder Boys and The Mysteries of Pittsburgh. The skeptic in us has its doubts, but while we're still torn over the overwhelmingly pranky nature of Oliver Stone's W, we don't know who the hell else would have written 252 pages of fan fiction this dynamic or, well, literary. In any case, we have our weekend reading cut out for us. [Via Videogum]
Whoa! Novelist Michael Chabon (The Yiddish Policemen's Union) hits us with a little dose of crazy about Obama in a Washington Post op-ed. Basically, he's sick to death of people talking smack about Obama when they damn well know he's the best man for the job. In fact, he isn't isn't going to take it anymore! "There are many reasons not to support Barack Obama's candidacy for president," he begins, "but every one of them is bad for the same reason."
Ayelet "Michael Chabon's wife" Waldman, the most happily married woman in America ("our sex life - always vital, even torrid - is more exciting and imaginative now than it was when we first met") is at it again, this time oversharing in the pages of Harper's Bazaar. Unusually, she's venturing out of the marital bed and into the rest of her bliss-filled household, talking about how she and her brood celebrate the holidays. Once upon a time, she says, she coveted her gentile friends' pine-scented rituals, but that all ended when she met Her Husband. "Inclusion in any culture other than the one we were making together no longer mattered to me."
Last weekend, Page Six reported that Michael Chabon's new alternate-reality book about Jews living in Alaska would probably spark a firestorm of criticism because of its anti-Semitic undertones. Their "information" was sourced to one Kyle Smith, who reviews movies and seems to occasionally write little articles for the Post. This week, we saw Mr. Smith's name pop up again in the weekend media—this time in the Wall Street Journal's Pursuits section, in which he reviews the new book by Fight-Club-author Chuck Palahniuk (subscription only).
Real caption: "We strongly believe that Barack Obama is the only candidate who can lead us out of the mess George Bush made. We've set our own personal fundraising goal for the campaign, which you can see in the thermometer to the right. Will you make a donation to help us reach our goal?" Realer caption: "Ayelet, honey, it's been three days since we finished taking the photo. My whole side is getting numb. Could you maybe let go? Okay, or least stop squeezing so hard?"
Apparently Michael Chabon's new book has been troubled with a bad case of being crap. We've been trying to keep an open mind about The Yiddish Policemen's Union, but he's not making it easy. For starters, it's written in a "hard-boiled, Yiddish-inflected patois." Also, the only thing we've heard about Michael since The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay won a Pulitzer in 2001 has been his personal child-bearer Ayelet Waldman's irrepressible oversharing about his sexual prowess. Now we learn that HarperCollins pulled it from their publication schedule at the last minute! "While long gestation periods and multiple drafts aren't unusual in the publishing industry, the time and effort expended on behalf of Mr. Chabon's vision are illustrations of the book's importance to HarperCollins," the reporter claims. Exactly. Just switch the word "aren't" with the word "are," and the words "the book's importance" with the words "the book's terribleness," and that sentence becomes almost true.
For those so lucky as to attend an athletics-obsessed undergraduate instituition, it comes as firsthand knowledge that any sort of "learning" is put on hold for most of March, so that basketball players may pursue the sweat-soaked glory of a NCAA championship. But a student at the University of Florida, whose team plays in tonight's final against UCLA, reports that the madness has hit a new high:
And now, in non-war news [Ed. note—don't get too used to it.]...a reader notes that Haypenny has done their own version of McSweeney's #10,—"the one 'guest-edited' by Michael Chabon, featuring stories by Stephen King, among others". "Contributing authors" to this edition—"co-edited by Salman Rushdie and Jonathan Franzen and featuring the artwork of Lisa Frank"—include Tom Clancy ("Smack My Bitch Up"), John Grisham ("He Died With His Boots Off"), Judy Blume ("Fatal Heat") and Frank McCourt ("I Should Have Just Killed You When I Had the Chance").
Haypenny 10: courageous dolphin stories