¡Hola! That is what the state of Arizona says to its Mexican friends and residents, to distract them from the knife being plunged into their backs at the same moment. The primary problem facing the foreclosure-wracked drought-plagued desert state of Arizona: Mexicans learning things. Arizona will put a stop to that—¡muy rapido!
You know what the state of Arizona needs? More xenophobia. Also, less knowledge of Mexican-American history and more fear and distrust between white people and immigrants. So thank god that a judge has upheld an earlier ruling by Arizona's school superintendent that a Mexican-American studies program in Tucson is a violation of the law, in part because it promotes "resentment toward a race or class of people." White people in Arizona, specifically!
Just when you think that this is America and yew better speak American if you wanna live here because my daddy worked hard to support our family and I don't pay taxes to support a buncha Mescans sneaking over the border to steal my hard-earned dollars and date my daughter, you read something like this: foreigners are making good solid American dollars—millions of 'em!—without even talkin' English like a real human. Is this that "socialism" they're always talking about?
President Obama made it back from Ground Zero yesterday just in time for a packed White House Cinco de Mayo party. He prepared for the crowd all sorts of Mexico-related jokes, for which the First Lady served as a useful prop at times. Mexican food is Michelle's favorite, Obama said, adding that "you do not want to be between Michelle and a tamale." Not that she's fat or anything, he hastily adds — she exercises, too! Oh, to be a prop wife.
Our obsession with Disney's forthcoming nature extravaganza Beverly Hills Chihuahua has resulted in feverish demands for an earlier release date and, failing that, an unabating anticipation of the day when we can plunk down our $10 for studio's garish, G-rated monument to ethno-canine stereotypes. The bastards appear to be listening, however, as a new teaser making the rounds features the angry, George Lopez-voiced hero Papi rallying the diminutive troops, wetting panties and calling for "mas" all-you-can-eat taco bars and "no mas" handbag accessorizing. Seriously — who can wait for this?