Wall Street Journal Unfamiliar With America's Pastime

Tom Scocca · 06/27/14 10:45AM

The opinion section of the Wall Street Journal, bastion of virile American traditionalism, wanted a metaphor for how thoroughly President Obama had been humiliated by the Supreme Court's limitation on recess appointments. You know what is really humiliating? When there's a sports contest and one sports-person fails to sport at all. Behold the feeble Mr. Obama, trying to throw the base-ball for points, only to have the justices unanimously refuse to hit him any points. "Obama pitches a shutout"! What a bad ball-pitcher he is!

Watch CNN White House Reporter Jessica Yellin Say Dumb Rain Metaphors

Ken Layne · 05/16/13 01:39PM

Barack Obama's press conference today wasn't just about a couple of scandals and whatever's happening in Syria or Turkey. It was actually a metaphor, or a series of metaphors. Jessica Yellin knows this, because she was there, and she saw God punish Obama's lies with His rain.

A List of the Things Whiny Rich People Have Compared Themselves (and Obama) To

Max Read · 10/01/12 05:00PM

Maybe the most exciting story of the last few years is the increasingly prominent voice of a traditionally powerless and voiceless group: the super-rich. No longer content to stand by the wayside as the president begs them to contribute a slightly higher percentage of their massive incomes while they enjoy record-breaking profits, the super-rich have finally stood up to the middle-class and, with the typically astute metaphorical skill of the Wall Street billionaire, compared themselves to violently oppressed and abused people. And piñatas.

Eating Our Chocolate Is Just Like Drinking Semen

Hamilton Nolan · 04/28/11 10:46AM

Advertising isn't just a matter of putting a picture of your product up on the screen. It's a subtle psychological process of associating your product with the most powerful and appropriate metaphor. Not just blow jobs; cum-guzzling, also. Masterful. [Copyranter]

Bristol Palin Didn't Vote

Maureen O'Connor · 11/03/10 04:11PM

Baby-making teen role model Bristol Palin was too busy shimmying to vote: "I did not send in my absentee ballots to Alaska. I'm going to be in trouble. Sorry, mom!"

Stop That Train, I Wanna Get Off

Hamilton Nolan · 10/26/10 03:41PM

The Way We Live Now: dancing naked. Forever, hopefully! Of course we know that the music stops eventually. But before it does, we need a new house, a new portfolio, and a new economy. And junk food, on a train.

2012's Triumph Tests the Mettle of America's Headline Writers

Richard Rushfield · 11/16/09 03:11PM

When an apocalypse-themed movie rakes in truckloads of money, no copy editor on Earth, looking to top to a weekend tallies story, could withstand the temptation of the epic cataclysm metaphor waiting for them tied up with a box .

Political Metaphors Sold For Economic Realities

Hamilton Nolan · 08/28/09 11:04AM

The Way We Live Now: With politics superseded by reality. Ideology's fine when everyone has jobs and homes and enough cash for Crispy Chik'n Wraps, but those days are gone. Tear down the border fence! And sell it for scrap!

Senators Would Not Shut Up About 'Balls and Strikes'

Pareene · 07/13/09 02:49PM

Back in 2005, John Roberts said his job as a justice was "to call balls and strikes," like in baseball. This was the most insidious statement ever uttered by a SCOTUS nominee, as today's Sotomayor hearing showed.