Hamilton Nolan · 12/22/14 01:45PM

Axe body spray's new White Label line is targeting a more mature and refined class of virgins. "White Label products aim to help make men seem famous with such unusual fragrance notes as praline, star fruit, moss, fig and ginger."

A Gift Guide for the Recently Divorced Dad

Adam Weinstein · 12/18/14 10:30AM

What's that you say? Half of all marriages don't end in divorce, as has long been asserted? Divorces are, in fact, declining? No, I really did not need you to tell me that. What I could use, aside from some sympathy and a decoder ring for this parenting plan, are a few new things.

Fred Durst and the Lost Boys: One Night in New York With Limp Bizkit

Dayna Evans · 10/13/14 11:25AM

I walked into the main atrium of Best Buy Theater like Queen of the Dirtbags, a half-chewed slice of pizza in my waving hand and a vodka soda in my left, dangling down by my hip. Everything smelled like Clinique Happy perfume and ball sweat. For half a second, before crossing the threshold into the venue, I thought, Can I bring pizza in here?

Science: Dudes Terrible at Judging Whose Ass They Could Kick

Hamilton Nolan · 10/09/14 10:54AM

Why is it that you think dudes who could kick your ass are huge, but you think dudes whose ass you could kick are teeny-tiny? Because you are not smart, haha, just playing, brother. You are not smart because of science.

15 Guys Explain Why They Date Women Who Are Ghosts

Kelly Conaboy · 10/08/14 12:44PM

Man has long grappled with the question of what to do with women once they step outside the sexually desirable age range of "eighteen" to twenty-six. They're around for some time after [fact-check this claim, please — Ed.], but why?

Science: Women Are Bad at Lifting Stuff

Hamilton Nolan · 07/29/14 10:33AM

If you've ever been around women, you've probably heard them exclaim, "Oh! My back!" while grabbing their backs (which they just injured). Science has, at long last, explained why women are always like, "Oh! My back!"

Women Tricking Men Into Wearing Tight Clothes

Hamilton Nolan · 06/04/14 02:18PM

A good rule of thumb if you're a man and you want to wear a "dress shirt" is, you put on the shirt and look in the mirror, and if you can see your nipples and also you are suffocating, the shirt is too tight. Well, your wife thinks it looks great on you.

Philadelphia Searching For Swiss Cheese Masturbator

Jordan Sargent · 01/11/14 03:05PM

That man you see above is holding a slice of Swiss cheese over his dick. He is currently driving around the Mayfair area of Philadelphia asking women to use the slice of cheese while jerking him off.

Hamilton Nolan · 01/06/14 11:00AM

A new survey finds that male economics Ph.D.'s who get married early in their careers see their salaries grow 25%, while females who do the same thing see their salaries shrink by 23%. You can't argue with the free market, I guess.

Hamilton Nolan · 01/02/14 12:27PM

With all due respect, if you write a book called The End of Men and then you write a New Year's listicle for Time called "Men Are Obsolete" that is "Adapted from her opening statement at the Munk Debate, 'Resolved: Men Are Obsolete,'" you may be in danger of becoming a one-trick pony.