I walked into the main atrium of Best Buy Theater like Queen of the Dirtbags, a half-chewed slice of pizza in my waving hand and a vodka soda in my left, dangling down by my hip. Everything smelled like Clinique Happy perfume and ball sweat. For half a second, before crossing the threshold into the venue, I thought, Can I bring pizza in here?
Here's a story to boost your confidence in airport security and the overall safety of women everywhere: An apparently drunk, 53-year-old man was arrested at the San Francisco airport Tuesday after allegedly convincing two women he was a TSA agent and ushering them into a private area to give them pat downs.
"Wow, you're super pretty. Wanna go on a date sometime?" said a man, walking around with no shirt on, to a woman, who was reporting live today from the site of a wildfire east of Los Angeles. All men must die.