If there’s anything to be said about Bernie Sanders fans, it’s that they’ve handled the past year with the sort of sensitivity so rarely seen in politics today. And now that Bernie Sanders has finally conceded to Hillary Clinton, they’re responding with the same fair-minded thoughtfulness we’ve all come to know and love.
Everyone with half a brain knows that the dankest memes on the internet are not posted to Tumblr and 4chan by teenaged nihilists, but to Facebook groups about gardening by sensible midwestern moms. It follows that the best election memes would show support for a candidate who speaks to the heartland. Enter the Ted Cruz Meme Page.
You may have heard the term “BernieBro” being thrown around on Facebook and Twitter lately, usually during discussions about the candidacy of Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders. Robinson Meyer of The Atlantic invented the term late last year, in an article describing what he saw as a collection of conversational and argumentative tics frequently exhibited by Sanders’ supporters (“The Berniebro talks a lot about DC insiders”; “The Berniebro knows the media is complicit in keeping Clinton the Democratic front-runner”) but he didn’t settle on a concrete definition. So what is a BernieBro? Language is a malleable thing, so for now we’ll defer to the definitions laid down by other outlets. Here’s what we know about the BernieBro so far:
As every website has been attempting to inform you since 2012, copy-pasting several paragraphs of dense legal voodoo onto your Facebook wall does not somehow exempt you from the terms of service that bind all Facebook users. If Facebook decides it wants to start using your content in some way you don’t like, your legal options include: don’t put that content on Facebook. Or: stop using Facebook altogether. If you won’t believe us, please believe John Oliver.
A solid meme for a Friday afternoon: Stock footage of baboons doing human things, paired with silly one-liner captions. They talk on the phone, they throw their computers, they gaze dewy-eyed into the distance and softly smack their lips in resignation. I love these goddamn baboons, and I can’t wait to share them with you.
Antonin Scalia is an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court. Minions are cartoon characters from a series of popular family films. Dissents authored by Antonin Scalia are laced with quips, one-liners, and barbs designed to be stripped from their greater context and shared, by his ideological fellows and foes alike. Minion memes are images of Minions stripped from their original context, with humorous text added. Can you tell them apart?
Rick Perry’s presidential campaign launched today on the premise that you don’t need to be able to count to three as long as you can push the red button. But amid his militaristic orgy of self-praise, dumb media people had a dumb media argument about the emo twins flanking Perry. Caitlyn Jenner was involved.
If you’re not a TV news reporter, it may seem to you that the trend of yelling “fuck her right in the pussy!” on live TV broadcasts, considered the cutting edge of comedy last year, has mercifully faded away. But this Canadian reporter still hears it from rude idiots “every single day, 10 times a day,” and she’s not going to take it anymore.
Years after Swedish distance runner Mikael Ekvall crapped his shorts in the midst of a half-marathon, his photo still shows up on Facebook. You might've seen it with a "fail" caption or a demotivational poster—played-out viral image formats that were de rigueur at the time—or in any number of "world's most embarrassing photos" compilations. Clearly, people still haven't gotten over Ekvall's uncomfortable grimace and the liquified shit trickling down his legs.
Apparently some people missed the memo that the I-can't-believe-it's-not-Idiocracy catchphrase "Fuck Her Right in the Pussy" originated with a couple of completely fake news bloopers before it spread rapidly, not unlike herpes, to actual TV broadcasts. Today, the creator of the worst meme that dominated the worst year cleared that up with a video officially confessing the hoax.