Fastest Masturbator In Brooklyn Caught on Camera

Allie Jones · 09/24/14 02:37PM

It's been a banner week for horny dudes rubbing one out in public. Today, we have yet another video courtesy of Gothamist. This one shows a man who appears to be furiously masturbating in the driver's seat of a van parked on a street corner in Williamsburg. The witness who took the video this morning tells Gothamist, "I didn't stick around to catch him finish, but when I left my apartment he was still in the car, digging into a bag of Popchips with the same hand." Nice.

Horny Man With No Shame Rubs One Out on the M Train

Aleksander Chan · 09/22/14 02:18PM

A truly brave human being saw something while riding the M train through Brooklyn, and decided to say something to Gothamist (with NSFW video): A depraved man decided to whip his dick out and masturbate on the train. He didn't do a very good job of concealing himself, either. The aspiring exhibitionist, however, is a little shy: he brings the show to a halt when the train reaches a stop. Gothamist has turned the video over to the NYPD.

GOP Hopeful: My Public Masturbation Fetish and Felonies Were Bad Ideas

Adam Weinstein · 06/27/14 10:53AM

Jordan D. Haskins, candidate for Michigan Legislature, wants everyone to know conservatives embrace imperfect people, too. So let him explain his multiple felony convictions for breaking into government vehicles, disconnecting the sparkplugs, and jerking off while the engines cranked.

General Gets a Wrist-Slap for Jerk-Off Fantasy About GOP Congresswoman

Adam Weinstein · 01/27/14 02:15PM

A one-star Army general who serves in the Pentagon's inner circle of decision-makers was lightly reprimanded for joking in emails to colleagues that he had masturbated "3 times over the past 2 hours" after meeting with "smoking hot" tea party Rep. Renee Ellmers (R-N.C.).

Let's All Go to a British "Wank Camp" Now, Shall We?

Adam Weinstein · 01/15/14 02:31PM

This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England, this knob that needs a little extra 'ow's yer father. Let's take a trip to a "personal development" camp in these cherished isles. Let's put a little more jack in the Union Jack. Am I being too coy? Fine, let's go on a weekend retreat to learn how to masturbate better.

Optometrist Tests His Female Patient's Vision by Masturbating

Lacey Donohue · 10/03/13 06:50PM

A Michigan optometrist was charged Monday with indecent exposure after allegedly forcing a female patient to watch him masturbate. According to the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office, Dr. Robert Emmett Deck III of Oxford Township fit a 33 year-old woman with new contacts and then asked her to come into his personal office. When she stepped into his office, she “suspected something was not right” and pulled out her iPhone. Once he began masturbating, she was able to record audio of the Aug. 13 incident.