Doug Adams, a passenger on a Virgin Atlantic flight from Logan Airport to LAX, reportedly caused the plane to be diverted to Omaha after he was allegedly caught masturbating on board Monday. Unlike recent incidents involving public masturbation, this seems slightly more reasonable—it's a long goddamn flight. People get horny over the course of six hours.
It's been a banner week for horny dudes rubbing one out in public. Today, we have yet another video courtesy of Gothamist. This one shows a man who appears to be furiously masturbating in the driver's seat of a van parked on a street corner in Williamsburg. The witness who took the video this morning tells Gothamist, "I didn't stick around to catch him finish, but when I left my apartment he was still in the car, digging into a bag of Popchips with the same hand." Nice.
A truly brave human being saw something while riding the M train through Brooklyn, and decided to say something to Gothamist (with NSFW video): A depraved man decided to whip his dick out and masturbate on the train. He didn't do a very good job of concealing himself, either. The aspiring exhibitionist, however, is a little shy: he brings the show to a halt when the train reaches a stop. Gothamist has turned the video over to the NYPD.
Tim Margis is the director of public safety for Concordia University in Chicago. Er, he was, that is, until a week ago, when he was arrested for ejaculating into the shoe of a female coworker in her campus office.
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England, this knob that needs a little extra 'ow's yer father. Let's take a trip to a "personal development" camp in these cherished isles. Let's put a little more jack in the Union Jack. Am I being too coy? Fine, let's go on a weekend retreat to learn how to masturbate better.
A Michigan optometrist was charged Monday with indecent exposure after allegedly forcing a female patient to watch him masturbate. According to the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office, Dr. Robert Emmett Deck III of Oxford Township fit a 33 year-old woman with new contacts and then asked her to come into his personal office. When she stepped into his office, she “suspected something was not right” and pulled out her iPhone. Once he began masturbating, she was able to record audio of the Aug. 13 incident.