How Not to Rob a Casino

Hamilton Nolan · 08/01/12 09:55AM

If you wanted to rob a high-end Las Vegas casino, I imagine the best plan would be something involving an inside accomplice, cutting-edge technology, stealth, and a well-planned getaway. The "run in and grab what you can" method would not be the primary choice of most successful casino robbers.

No, You Can't Just Forge a Huge Check and Be Rich Forever

Hamilton Nolan · 12/13/11 09:16AM

The thing that some people don't understand about crime is that you have to put some thought into it. You can't just run around willy-nilly doing stupid idiot crimes and expect to get rich and famous and live a life of leisure outside the walls of a prison. You have to plan shit. You can't just, you know, steal $285,000 and hope that nobody notices.

How Not to Do Insider Trading

Hamilton Nolan · 05/27/10 09:46AM

We always laugh when, say, someone's arrested for brazenly offering weed for sale on Craigslist. Our apologies to those fools. It turns out that the dumbest criminals of all are trying to pull off insider trading. Very, very poorly.

Love and Crime on Long Island

Hamilton Nolan · 07/23/09 09:36AM

Is there a way for the old "Teacher Arrested For Sleeping With Student" to combine with the old "Man Solicits Underage Sex on the Internet" to produce a new, stupider crime? On Long Island there is.