Tragically Wasted Soccer Mascot Falls, Can't Get Up

Jay Hathaway · 05/06/15 09:45AM

What is the saddest thing? Possibly: a heroic lion mascot in a cape who has become too drunk to stand and collapses on the soccer pitch, his giant fuzzy head lolling and falling off in his hands. Underneath, he is only human, like the rest of us. He is also drunk, like the rest of us.

Hamilton Nolan · 04/21/15 04:04PM

California legislators are considering a bill that would prohibit public schools from having the racial slur “Redskins” as the name of their school mascot. What next—the acceptance of Galileo’s heresies? It boggles the mind.

Tom Scocca · 03/18/14 11:45AM

FiveThirtyEight is puzzled: Its computer analysis of Shakespeare finds that Romeo and Juliet speak less to each other than to other characters, or than Lady Macbeth speaks to Macbeth. Chosen mascot: the flexible-thinking fox, of fox-and-hedgehog fame. Better mascot: a hammer bashing anything vaguely nail-shaped.

California High School Asked to Change Arab Mascot

Lacey Donohue · 11/07/13 09:51PM

The American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee sent a letter on Friday to the Coachella Valley Unified School District asking Coachella Valley High School to abandon its unbelievably offensive “Arab” mascot.

Ohio Cops in Search of Violent Banana

Max Read · 07/09/11 12:15PM

Attention, residents of Strongville, Ohio! A possibly-violent banana (-costumed person) is on the loose, having assaulted a man wearing a gorilla costume outside a cell phone store. "I noticed a kid in the bushes. Then he just emerged, dressed up as a banana, and sprinted as fast as he could at our gorilla," manager Brandon Parham, told WJW-TV. "He just looked like a Spartan from that movie 300, except he was a banana." How does such a thing happen? Who is responsible? When will WJW reporter Melissa Reid get an award for this sentence: "Police say the person dressed up as a banana split and headed south on Pearl Road"? We may never know. Police, we are told, "believe it was a prank." [WJW-TV]

Chicken Vs. Penguin: The Ultimate Showdown

Kate Erskine · 11/21/10 04:10PM

Watch as a fight between two fast food mascots unexpectedly turns into a love story, complete with endearing, adolescent awkwardness. Video inside!

Mascot Bootcamp Produces Our Nation's Finest Mascots

Dan Grappone · 09/22/10 09:45AM

On last night's Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel, we got an inside look at the rigorous emotional and physical preparation it takes for a number of college students to don over-sized costumes and receive the brunt of drunken fratboy heckling.

Tennessee Titans Mascot Devours Cheerleader

Morgan Barry · 09/14/10 02:16PM

Sunday officially rang in the new season of America's true past time. No, not football—laughing at silly sports mascots contrived antics. Ian Eagle, for one, is entertained.

Dina Lohan's New Enemy: A Whale Named 'Fudgie'

Maureen O'Connor · 06/18/10 05:56PM

After Dina Lohan called the cops on Carvel Ice Cream for denying her freebies, Carvel denounced "entitled" Dina. Now Carvel's mascot, an anthropomorphized chocolate whale named Fudgie, is giving Dina the smackdown on his blog, Twitter, and Facebook page.

Inflatable Mascot Goes A Tumblin'

nightintern · 06/02/10 01:30PM

If it wasn't a meteor or the Ice Age that killed off the dinosaurs, then it might have been the invention of stairs and roller blades that did them in. The inflatable breed of dinosaurs at least.

Sports Mascots Behaving Badly

Frank Cozzarelli · 03/11/10 12:00PM

The history of sports mascotting is fraught with violence. Well, not really. But sometimes mascots can take things a little too far, resulting in pissed off fans or people dressed as cartoon animals punching one another in their plush faces.