Gawker Count: Martin O'Malley Clinches Nomination If Everyone Dies and Is Replaced With More Martin O'Malleys

Hudson Hongo · 06/06/16 09:16PM

After a new survey of superdelegates, the Associated Press declared the inevitable Monday evening, naming Hillary Clinton the presumptive Democratic nominee. According to Gawker’s own survey of hypothetical genetic clones of Martin O’Malley, however, the former Maryland Governor will easily win the nomination should all party officials die and be replaced by said clones.

Gawker and Jezebel's Democratic Debate Liveblog: Bernie vs Hillary vs That Other Guy

Sam Biddle · 01/17/16 10:57PM

The Communist Party of the U.S.A. is holding a debate tonight, pitting new nemeses Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders against one another as handsome man Martin O’Malley just sort of stands there and watches. We’re “liveblogging” the whole painful thing with our friends at Jezebel right here so you don’t have to watch.

Martin O'Malley Asks Democrats to Memorize His Face In Case Hillary Dies 

Allie Jones · 12/01/15 03:10PM

Martin O’Malley is now campaigning to be Democrats’ “second choice” for president, which isn’t a thing. But the former governor of Maryland announced his futile goal today in a meeting with House Dems, who have mostly all said they support Hillary Clinton, in an apparent attempt to remind them that he still exists.

It's Getting Harder For Companies to Run From Their Nazi Pasts

Seth Abramovitch · 05/19/11 09:28PM

You know that Volkswagen you're driving? Hitler founded the company. You know that Hugo Boss suit you're wearing? His ads once touted, "Supplier for Nazi uniforms since 1924." Nazi stuff! Right under our noses! A new piece of legislation — from Maryland, of all places — would make sweeping that information under the carpet a crime.