The civilian mission to Mars, which will likely never happen in a million bajillion years, has received its fair share of mixed press. Most recently, The Guardian interviewed three potential candidates for the mission in a self-serious documentary gut-wrenchingly titled "If I die on Mars," in which an unnamed interviewer asks the most devastating question of all: You guys gonna be mad that you can't fuck anymore?
Louis C.K. has a feeling he's discovered "the origin of the basic despair that we all feel in the pit of our being, that one thing we all share." And it's not, as he previously posited, the knowledge that each of us will be forever empty and alone. It's that Earth is a Martian graveyard, and we're all "seeded by marsian corpse DNA."
India has nailed its first foray into interplanetary travel. Wednesday morning local time, scientists announced that their Mangalyaan – Hindi for "Mars Craft" – had entered Mars orbit after completing the 400-million-mile arc to Mars it began last November. It will now set about collecting imagery and data that might shed light on the still mysterious red planet.
Another week, another eccentric millionaire making promises to colonize Mars. This time, it's Dutchman Bas Lansdorp, whose Mars One project is looking to put teams of astronauts on the Red (well, not actually red) Planet by 2023. He's looking for applicants right now, no experience necessary. Just one catch, though.
Here is an incredible new video of the Mars Curiosity Rover's descent, so clear it's like you're bearing down on Mars yourself. The video is comprised of hundreds of high-definition still images beamed back by the Mars Descent Imager (MARDI) and stitched together to form a video. It seems almost too good to be true, except you can check out the original raw images here.
Here's the first color photo from Curiosity, the two-billion dollar NASA robot that landed on Mars yesterday. What a crock of shit. This is the first color photo of Mars we're getting? An Instagram of a mountain? Is Curiosity taking photos with a RAZR? This is the worst photo I've ever seen. Fire everyone at NASA. [NASA]
Newt Gingrich was campaigning on Florida's Space Coast today when he decided, fuck it, I'm pandering: "By the end of my second term we will have the first permanent base on the moon and it will be American." Sure, why not. What about Mars? "Gingrich also said he would push to develop propulsion technology that would get man to Mars." He would merely "develop" the project. Such a cop-out.
Right now, several miles above the surface of the earth, a huge wheeled robot is on its way to Mars, where, armed with "rock-zapping laser," it will seek out evidence of ancient extraterrestrial life.