Nobody Wanna Watch Your Wack Video Ad

Hamilton Nolan · 05/08/15 09:00AM

The internet is full of “video ads” that some highly paid corporate marketing officer paid tons of money to some advertising firm to produce. Nobody is watching that shit.

Americans Are Losing the Diaper Race

Hamilton Nolan · 03/25/15 09:02AM

As the trade winds that blow across the seas are always in flux, so too are the diaper-buying trends of parents around the world. A powerful metaphor? Yes.

Cheez Is Healthy, For the Right Price

Hamilton Nolan · 03/24/15 08:53AM

Though I enjoy a good slice of American Cheez Food Product as much as the next unsophisticated child, I would not be so bold as to declare that product to be "healthy." Prestigious nutritionists bound to differ!

McDonald's Has "No Budget" to Pay Artists at SXSW Showcase

Kelly Conaboy · 03/05/15 11:10AM

SXSW, Austin's annual sticky-floored music industry sport coat and jeans cocaine marathon, wherein bands willingly exhaust themselves playing garbage sets for little or no money, deriving sustenance from tacos and the hope of "exposure," features a McDonald's showcase this year. And, no doy, they aren't paying.

Here's How Sprite Tries to Buy Off Reporters With Free Tickets

Hamilton Nolan · 02/03/15 12:20PM

Here is an email illustrating how brands (Sprite, in this case) pay off reporters and bloggers with free stuff as a direct quid pro quo for coverage. There's also some info about a TOP SECRET Drake and Nas concert we would like to share.

McDonald's Is America's Most Cynical Corporation

Hamilton Nolan · 02/02/15 11:46AM

McDonald's, the molded plastic king of America's molded plastic cuisine, has decided that money will no longer suffice to purchase its meager offerings; the company now demands that you degrade yourself in order to be fed.