Josh Schwartz, the man responsible for bringing you The OC and Gossip Girl, turns 33 today. Jim McGreevey, the man responsible for bringing New Jersey its most embarrassing political scandal—up until two weeks ago, that is—turns 52. Director M. Night Shyamalan is turning 39. Karenna Gore Schiff, the novelist daughter of Al and Tipper Gore, is turning 36. Publishing exec Jamie Raab is 56. American Express' marketing chief, John Hayes, is turning 55. Victoria's Secret model Marisa Miller is 31. Actress Melissa George is turning 33. Reality TV star Adrianne Curry is 27. Former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell is turning 37. And Soleil Moon Frye, who will always be Punky Brewster to you and me, celebrates her 33rd birthday today.
The Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is not some sort of purist literature product, but it is a sacred institution in the American magazine industry. Not only do its covers help us predict economic trends, they're also the traditional measuring stick for the evolving standards of mainstream white-bread attractiveness. So while we can forgive the cheesy Will Ferrell tie-ins this year as a ploy to bump circulation (SI was up less than 1% in the latest numbers; Playboy plunged 10%, though, which should tell them something), what has us worried is the fact that SI is now just recycling the exact same cover shot it had eight years ago. Here's how short men's memories are when it comes to the "topless model whose supple breasts are barely covered with strings of beads" dynamic: