New Math Will Make All of Our Schoolchildren Gay, Says Idiot

Adam Weinstein · 05/20/14 02:10PM

It's the Common Core, you see, it's got the gay-making all built into it. Do an arithmetic problem all new and queer-like, and you go queer. This simple Florida lawmaker can see that. Why can't you? Are you gay or something?

America's Most Republican-Leaning Company Makes White Bread

Adam Weinstein · 05/09/14 11:15AM

Corporations are people. Like people, they have political opinions. If you're looking for the most Republican corporate persons in the world, you're probably thinking Koch Industries. But you should be thinking white bread and interstate-redneck food.