Earlier today a Fox Business Network yapper dared point out that there is absolutely no way you will ever win the lottery, because you won’t, you dunce. But this position is for some reason intolerable at Fox, which demands that you waste your money on Powerball tickets, and so the dissenter was yelled at on TV.
Some Gawker writers would tell you that you’re probably not going to win the lottery. But that doesn’t mean that someone, somewhere, someday isn’t going to become disgustingly rich. And Fox News wants you to remind you that maybe—if you spend all your money on all the lottery tickets you possibly can—that disgusting person could be you.
The 84-year-old line cutter who was recently rewarded for jumping the queue at Publix with the largest single jackpot in American lottery history ($370.8 million), may have bought dinner for a restaurant full of strangers over the weekend. She also may have continued hoarding the millions all to herself, not givin' anyone shit. An employee of the Buddy Freddy's restaurant in Plant City, FL told the Tampa Bay Times that a woman who "sure looked like" Gloria MacKenzie paid for dinner for 180 people on Sunday. That woman told the employee that she sure wasn't Gloria MacKenzie; just some other mysterious 84-year-old millionaire from central Florida buying everyone dinner for no reason.