Next stop, Mordor. Kindly remember to take all your precious possessions with you when exiting the train.
After seven years of rights disputes and one false start, here it finally is — the first teaser for Peter Jackson's The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. It's the first part of Jackson's two-part retelling of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit, set to debut a full year from now. And good god, it's fucking The Lord of the Rings again. The score, the Shire, the Ians (Holm and McKellen), the font, the Dwarf makeup, the Gollum, the Precious — they're all back. If you wanted to return to Middle Earth exactly as Jackson had left it in 2003, then you're in for a treat. But movies don't tend to age as well as books do — particularly effects-driven ones — and this one looks and feels dated by about a decade. I'll stick to HBO's Game of Thrones, thanks. (Still an immeasurable improvement over The Lovely Bones, however!)
Here's the thing about dying in lava, which everyone seems to fuck up: You do not sink into like you're in a swimming pool (looking at you, Gollum from Lord of the Rings). You do not instantly melt into goo on contact (Volcano subway guy). Density and viscosity doesn't work that way. Just let Wired explain to you the right way to die in lava.
Yesterday, Sen. John McCain took to the Senate floor to blast the Tea Party for resisting John Boehner's plan to solve the debt ceiling crisis, at one point referring to its members as "Hobbits" from The Lord of the Rings. The Tea Party then shot back at McCain, comparing him to the fantasy novel's villain, Sauron. Stephen Colbert took the opportunity on tonight's Report to extend the unlikely metaphor to the rest of Washington. Video of the segment is above.
This man gets really meta on a late-night fast food run as he creates a fascinating impersonation of not one, but three characters that are in no way related to one another. Very creepy.
While watching the Lord of the Rings movies—or reading the books, I suppose—did you ever wonder if the ring was really only able to be destroyed in the fiery pits of Mordor? This alternate ending answers the question.
Here's a trailer for the new HBO spectacular Game of Thrones, a relatively magicless fantasy series based on the popular novels by George R.R. Martin. It concerns a world where seasons last for decades, and everyone's upset.