Tonight’s going to be weird. In one corner, we have Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and Ben Carson engaging in an ostensibly civil “town hall” on CNN (the other three get their shot tomorrow night). In the other corner, Donald Trump and Joe Scarborough will be doing... something. Either way, we’ll be liveblogging every last second of it.
Okay people, let's do this. I got a bottle of Sangiovese and ten of my bestest galpals with me, and I am prepared to dispense MAXIMUM BITCHINESS. Your host tonight is Billy Crystal, whom you almost certainly haven't seen since the LAST time he hosted the Oscars. Don't be shocked if he walks out onto the stage looking like Miracle Max, only covered in bad foundation makeup and without the hat. Your Best Picture nominees are as follows: