Well, she got it. After enduring more humiliation than previously imaginable, after alienating virtually everyone in her immediate circle, and after ignoring the Greek chorus of their collective repulsion, Valerie Cherish (Lisa Kudrow) got her happy ending on last night's Season 2 finale of The Comeback. Her hairdresser/confidant Mickey (Robert Michael Morris) survived another cancer-related scare. She reunited with her estranged husband Mark (Damian Young), who was taken by her willingness to leave the Emmys to rush to Mickey's side in the hospital. And she ended up winning the Emmy she was nominated for, definitively proving her worth in Hollywood, a town that will only have her if she openly debases herself (she did so this time by playing an exaggeratedly unflattering version of herself in an HBO show based partly on her life).
"Well, reality TV has had quite the evolution," Valerie Cherish tells us during the first episode of The Comeback in more than nine years. "It's a different reality. And I should know, because I was there at the beginning with The Comeback. Back then, it was just me and people eating bugs on Survivor. 'Uh, what's this? This is entertainment?' Well, as it turns out, yes. Yes it is. I was right."
The upcoming season of The Comeback will dive further into the wormhole of meta-television as an HBO show about an HBO show. Per this first extended look at the second season of the brilliant Lisa Kudrow/Michael Patrick King faux reality series, Kudrow's Valerie Cherish is cast in an HBO series called Seeing Red, written by her former Room and Bored adversary Paulie G (Lance Barber) about their relationship.
Here's a trailer for the Don Roos film The Other Woman, a drama filmed two years ago that's just now getting a small release, possibly now that Natalie Portman is the movie star of the moment. It looks good?
• Rosie O'Donnell told Howard Stern yesterday that she "had a chance to romance" Angelina Jolie back when they were both single and they talked on the phone a few times, but they never ended going out for dinner as planned, alas. She also says Petra Nemcova once sent her "love signals" when the model was a guest on Rosie's talk show, but she didn't capitalize on that opportunity either. Rosie has a new satellite radio show launching next week, so don't be surprised if more of these missed love connections surface in the coming days. [NYDN, CM]
• In other creepy celebrity sex news, a new book by controversial biographer Andrew Morton claims that Angelina Jolie slept with her mother's live-in boyfriend when she was 16 years old. And a second Jolie tell-all, to be published on December 1, claims Angie once contemplated suicide, has a history of heroin use, and, when it comes to her relationship with Brad Pitt, has "successfully manipulated the public into believing a glamorous fairytale that bears little resemblance to the reality of the pair's life together." [DM, Us]
• Ashley Dupre popped by Scores last Saturday night. She didn't strip, but she did make out with her new boyfriend PJ all night, so patrons of the strip club didn't go home totally empty-handed. [P6]
Hilary Swank turns 35 today. Restaurateur Keith McNally is turning 58. Lisa Kudrow is 46. The former bodybuilder and actor who is now the Governor of California is 62. Director Peter Bogdanovich is turning 70. Bud Selig, the commissioner of Major League Baseball, is 75. Director Richard Linklater is turning 49. Laurence Fishburne is 48. Park Avenue plastic surgeon David Hidalgo is 57. Former MTV exec (and now Oprah disciple) Christina Norman is turning 46. Ad agency CEO Chuck Brymer is 50. Food Network host Alton Brown is turning 47. Tom Green is 38. Vivica A. Fox is turning 45. Jaime Pressly is 32. Anita Hill is 53. And Paul Anka turns 68 today.
· Sarah Jessica Parker's long-refrigerated, "racially charged" drama Spinning Into Butter has finally found theatrical distribution after a nearly three-year wait, thus unleashing the imaginations of critics everywhere who will smirkingly suggest lower-calorie alternatives for their own sake. [THR] · Lexus TV will soon debut online with an original series starring Lisa Kudrow as a "nutty shrink." Matt LeBlanc will co-star as a luxury SUV bequeathed from a husband to his wife one snowy, magical Christmas morning. [THR] After the jump: Uni courts the 'Works, Keira does Zelda, and the NFL sacks the Emmys.· Universal and Disney are reportedly the last studios standing in the DreamWorks distribution sweepstakes — if that's what you call a pitiful 8% distribution fee. Even the friggin' tooth fairy pays better than 8%. [THR] · Contrary to rumors circulating Hollywood this morning, Kim Kardashian's accident-scene etiquette will not be the basis for the planned remake of Akira Kurosawa's classic Rashomon [Variety] · Keira Knightley will bravely roll the dice in a period film for a change, attaching herself to play the stroppy Zelda Fitzgerald in Nick Cassavetes's adaptation of The Beautiful and the Damned. [THR] · The Emmy hangover continues: Sunday night's NFL matchup outrated the Emmycast by more than 8 million viewers. Perhaps Al Michaels and John Madden can host next year. [Variety]
As THR reported recently, MGM is planning a musical remake of the cult classic Valley Girl, which became the epitome of everything the magical land of acrylic nails and gum chewing addictions stood for in the early `80s. However, the remake is ruffling the feathers of many an industry insider, mainly because the brains behind this project are less interested in revisiting the infamous twang and mall headquarters associated with girls from the Valley, a group the film arguably captured better than any successor. Instead, the epic soundtrack will serve as the reincarnation's primary subject. But whether or not the idea tanks, we're just happy to have the chance to round up our five favorite on-screen Valley Girls to ever gag us with a spoon:
· Jake Gyllenhaal joins director Doug Liman on DreamWorks' Untitled Moon Project, in which Gyllenhaal is dispatched to populate a lunar colony with a super-race of dreamy-eyed pioneers. [Variety]
· NBC Universal is acquiring Oxygen Media, including the Oprahcentric Oxygen network, for $925 million, a piddling sum Winfrey will merely toss on the cash pile occupying much of her 25-acre Santa Barbara backyard. [THR]
· Pablo Escobar is the new Harvey Milk: Oliver Stone is producing his own biopic on the life of Colombia's most lovable drug-cartel kingpin, a project that will try to race into production ahead of the recently announced, competing Killing Pablo feature. [Variety]
· Lisa Kudrow joins the cast of "let's just squeeze in one more job before the strike" flick Hotel for Dogs, joining fellow speedy-paycheck-chasers Don Cheadle and Emma Roberts. [THR]
· Apatow Comedy College alumni Michael Cera and Kat Dennings sign on to star in a film adaptation of the novel Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. [Variety]
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted former Seinfeld star and noted stand-up nose-diver Michael Richards on a Third Street Promenade shopping spree: