The Baby Name Critic had not yet been called to service when Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard, a couple claiming to be Hollywood talents, gave life to their firstborn, a girl child unfortunately named Lincoln. If the Baby Name Critic had been writing for hire then, she might have said: Do not name your daughter after a geriatric brand of automobile/the 16th male president. Really, must we burden our young women by giving them both the first names and the surnames of men? A better solution for parents interested in honoring Lincoln's values, but also bolstering the feminist cause, would be to name your daughter after a strong woman of the Civil War era: Harriet (Tubman or Beecher Stowe!). Clara. Lucretia. All stunning names.
Lincoln, the auto company whose average customer is the same age as Abraham Lincoln, has a problem: they're rolling out a hot new car, and they would like to sell it to some people who may not be about to die. Where is the more youthful, affluent audience for this stupid car? If you said "probably buying a BMW," you are far too honest to ever be a chief marketing officer.
Conscious intellectual hip hop star Common has announced the winner of his big "Lincoln Spotlight" lyricist competition with Lincoln—the car manufacturer that represents hip hop culture. The winner wrote a song based on "Lincoln's brand truths: advancing the American dream, exploring what it means to reach higher, daring to do more and taking pride in one's history." That is so exactly Lincoln. And hey, just last week Common landed a role in the next Terminator movie! My irrational haterade judgment of him as a tool continues to be confirmed and re-confirmed. For those of you curious about what it takes to succeed in hip hop in 2008, the lyrics of the winning Lincoln Spotlight entry are after the jump. Feel the brand truths: