Fifty Shades of Grey Has Herpes (No, Really)

Sarah Hedgecock · 11/14/13 04:00PM

You should probably think twice before borrowing erotica from your local public library. I mean, for the obvious reasons, but also because Belgian scientists recently found a library copy of Fifty Shades of Grey bearing trace amounts of herpes. And do you really think that's an isolated incident?

The Future of Libraries Is Bookless

Hamilton Nolan · 03/29/11 11:39AM

Libraries: who needs them? We all have our very own libraries by the name of "The Internet" at our fingertips now, and these libraries include porn. So what can old public libraries do to keep up? First, toss those books.

Old Man Cries Over Local Library Closing

Jill Lawson · 03/05/10 11:37AM

When this old man is pretty broken up about the closure of the local library, his reactions turn from funny, to sad, to funny again. What you are about to see is a code blue case of the sads.

Small-Town Wisconsin Has Its Own Blog Wars, Thank You Very Much

Richard Lawson · 06/16/09 01:24PM

Blog wars aren't just for the prickly coastals anymore. No, people in the cheese-filled, clotted heart of this nation are turning to the internet to yell at their neighbors too. Like this crazy book-burning lady and her angry liberal enemy.

Failure to Return

Sheila · 08/28/08 04:12PM

Seriously, who isn't returning their library books? The failure to return borrowed books is a very real, very pressing problem these days. We've brought you two jail-time examples of rogue library borrowers this week alone. Now we've received a list of various offenders from the fuzz—a Southern library is being robbed of their possession of something called The Amazing Panda Adventure! Don't worry: the police department is on the case.