Read a Disgruntled Whole Foods Employee's Epic Resignation Letter

Seth Abramovitch · 07/24/11 09:29PM

Late Friday afternoon, an employee of the Whole Foods Market in Toronto sent this epic resignation letter to the entire company. It's an alternatingly amusing, enlightening, and occasionally infuriating read—but a good read, nonetheless.

Hedge Fund Manager to Wall Street: See Ya, Suckas!

ian spiegelman · 10/18/08 09:44AM

There's nothing like a truly excellent goodbye letter. One case in point is a rambling missive to the world from former hedge fund manager Andrew Lahde, who closed shop last month after deciding that it was just too risky to keep doing business with banks. Specifically, he calls out the, "low hanging fruit, i.e. idiots whose parents paid for prep school, Yale, and then the Harvard MBA, was there for the taking. These people who were (often) truly not worthy of the education they received (or supposedly received) rose to the top of companies such as AIG, Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers and all levels of our government. All of this behavior supporting the Aristocracy, only ended up making it easier for me to find people stupid enough to take the other side of my trades. God bless America."

Heart's Open Letter to John McCain: 'Up Yours, You Old Fart!'

ian spiegelman · 09/21/08 10:40AM

Despite complaints from all the musicians the McCain/Palin campaign are stealing music from, the assholes just keep stealing music. They ignored cease-and-desist orders from Van Halen's management and played "Right Now" at a rally in Maine last week, and they continue to blast Heart's "Barracuda" at stump stops. That much is true. Unfortunately, this open letter from Heart's Nancy and Ann Wilson is a joke column from The Stranger. Sigh. "Cease and Desist, you old fart," it reads. "God knows why we thought you would listen to us—two strong creative women. I guess we're all just 'trollop-faced cunts' to you. (Speaking of Cindy, who can blame her for hitting the pills? We'd need a Demerol epidural to live through five minutes of her conjugal duties [...] We'd rather rim Meatloaf. Seriously.)" Click through for a bigger pic of the furious missive.

Billy Joel Destroys Snobby Critic

ian spiegelman · 08/10/08 10:25AM

It's an age-old question that will probably never be answered: Does Billy Joel suck, or does he actually rule? Impossible to say, really. But, whatever your stance, do not pal around with The Piano Man and pretend you're best buds when actually you're a nasty music critic who's going to go back to his office and trash the guy's work. Because Billy is not having it! "I had no idea when you interviewed me that you considered much of my later work to be `sentimental rubbish', or that you thought songs like 'Uptown Girl' and 'We Didn't Start the Fire' were `abominations'. And your back-slapping, buddy-buddy style of conversation betrayed no indication that you actually compared talking with me to `sleeping with an inflatable girlfriend'," Joel wrote to New Zealand Sunday Times-Star scribe Grant Smithies the other day.