A Long Island family's day at the movies ends in tragedy as they realize that Tom Hooper's adaptation of Les Misérables is an incredibly sad film.
Les Misérables has already made off with $67 million at the box office since debuting on Christmas day, but a lot of people have found the sweeping musical largely problematic. Many are quick to criticize the performance of Russell Crowe. He can't really sing that well after all and some really judgmental critics feel that he ruined the whole movie.
The new movie version of Les Misérables is a nonsensical, emotional vampire of a movie. It sucks and sucks and never stops sucking. I knew I was supposed to feel something in this ever-welling sea of emotion, but I didn't know exactly what and I most certainly did not feel a thing. Well, that's not entirely true — I did feel isolated, like I was from a different planet than the people who were moved to repeatedly applaud for actors that couldn't hear them (at a screening full of critics, no less!), and audibly weep at turns so evidently constructed to make them do so that a giant lit up "CRY NOW" sign in the theater would have been redundant.
What better way to celebrate the upcoming release of Les Misérables than by watching acclaimed FBI-suing horrorcore duo Insane Clown Posse dissect the film's trailer. Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J discuss the film's origins ("If you remember back in the day, all these Broadway plays and shit, dawg. It's a take off on that."), its stars ("Look, fucking Wolverine is in it.") and an elephant's ass ("Whoa, is that an elephant's ass?"). At the clip's end, Violent J summed up the duo's take.
Anne Hathaway went retro to last night's New York premiere of Les Misérables — her bush-free flash to paps as she stepped out of her car was so five years ago. It's also really awkward. Anne Hathaway has built a squeaky clean career out of being mad unassuming about her genitalia. We always knew it was there, but we don't know how it was there, except now we do. Um...
Hugh Jackman, pronounced "You Jack Men" when said slowly by your dad as he smiles at you until you get the joke, is of course playing Jean Valjean in this year's adaptation of Les Miserables.