Remember Lena Chen? She was big on the internet a few years back for being a compulsively oversharing sex blogger while she attended Harvard. Anyhow, she graduated, and stopped sex blogging, and we forgot about her. Now she's back! And we're going to use her story as a peg for some completely unsolicited advice-giving.
This is Matthew DiPasquale. He scored fives on ten separate AP exams. "Five" may also quantify his penis somehow, you can decide for yourself because Matthew DiPasquale was born in the second half of the eighties and so he quite understandably just founded a Harvard porn magazine whose virgin issue contains naked pictures only of himself, an endeavor whose only conceivable purpose have been to solicit the snarky derision of people who have given up trying to understand the credit crisis. So here you go, just-safe-enough-for-work photos of your newest seeker of microfame after the jump. "Micro" may also quantify his penis somehow.
Hey there, proud parents of exceptional teens, you can end your search for a learning experience that does justice to your child's special gifts RIGHT NOW because the new US News & World Report is up on the internet and they've found the place: Harvard University! And just how did the trusty trustees of Cambridge manage to nab the top spot away from Her RoyalHighness Academy Princeton* — on that shoestring endowment of theirs? The answer will enliven your loamy loins!By reducing average class size! Now a full 3/4 of Harvard undergraduate classes have fewer than 20 students. And you know what that means: more classes taught in intimate settings by younger instructors no doubt hungrier for brain sex. (I have anecdotal evidence of this, even. Earlier this year I met a young aspiring journalist from Harvard named Lena Chen, and she was traveling [to Julia Allison's house, in fact!] with an ex-teaching assistant in tow. I am pretty sure they were having traditional non-brain sex!) Now that you know that here is some information: it is the 25th anniversary of the journalism world's most pointlessly controversial listicle and still I am pretty sure Gawker has done the only actually funny (and crowdsourced) alternative ranking. Internet people, please put rub your A+ school for B student educated brains together and think us up a new concept. Unsafest Safety Schools? Fairly ridiculous names? *Ahem, Princeton would like you to know they still hold the top spot in several categories of the Princeton Review and also are beloved by Black Enterprise magazine despite that angry thesis penned by that alumni association Judas Michelle Obama. Vote For America's Most Annoying Liberal Arts College College & University Rankings Library Eating And Shopping In Cambridge [WWD] Campus Squirrel Listings
You'll recall Harvard junior Lena Chen as one of our official compulsive oversharers. She's a sex blogger whose ex leaked naked pictures of her once. Now, in addition to the sex blog, she's got a more personal blog intended to correct the fact that Chen is "famous on the internet for all the wrong things." This makes it the perfect venue for pictures of... well, I'll just say it: of Chen right after getting "a facial." Demerits to Chen for posting the photo to the wrong blog, thus making it horribly oversharey. But points to the protocelebrity for the following: Releasing the sex pic herself so it can't be used against her; writing a brief caption that frames the picture as both more feminist and kinky than it appears; chipping away at the shame around a taboo sex act (end facial oppression!) and, most importantly, putting the fear of obsolescence into Julia Allison, the former Georgetown sex columnist now pulling down six figures as a Star editor at large. [Chicktionary]
Some people defend their online blog antics—sharing, bragging, writing, photographing—as simply a way to let their friends and family know what they're up to. Bullshit! The personal blog is a repository for personal vendettas, thinly-veiled sexual conquests, cries for help, intellectual masturbation, and career undermining. In other words, it is a rather stark portrait of your life, filled with Freudian slips. The thing is, being online every day—bloggin' as a self-promotional tool—wears down your boundaries. The things you'd thought you'd never say suddenly seem perfectly fine. Next thing you know, your blog is no longer some sort of branding mechanism. It's a place where you snap photographs of yourself sleeping. We've pointed out some of the most high-profile culprits.