Y'all Are Lazy

Hamilton Nolan · 04/24/15 04:12PM

Are you one of a subset of 83 million Americans? You’re lazy, man.

Fat Fatties Only Exercise Like an Hour a Year, Says Science

Adam Weinstein · 02/21/14 02:25PM

America, you're bulbous. Which is cool, if that's cool with you! The thing is, you're lazy as all get-up, too, and we have data to prove it: Obese women get one hour per year of exercise, and obese men get less than four hours. "They're living their lives from one chair to another," says a judgey researcher.

Study: Old Women Lazy as Hell

Hamilton Nolan · 12/18/13 10:05AM

It's hard enough being an elderly woman in today's society, what with sexism, ageism, and those bizarre "brooches" everyone expects you to wear. So hey, old ladies: don't make it harder on yourself by being so lazy. Get up and MOVE!

Postal Worker Too Lazy to Walk Up to House Drives Over Front Lawn

Neetzan Zimmerman · 10/04/13 09:21AM

An unnamed postal employee (who likely won't be a postal employee for much longer) was recently caught on a home security camera driving her delivery vehicle over the homeowner's front lawn in order to drop off a small package.

Americans Now Too Lazy to Make Microwave Popcorn

Hamilton Nolan · 05/29/13 09:12AM

Sure, you love the buttery, chemical-y, cholesterol-y flavor of a nice bag of hot, steaming popcorn. But who has the time or cardiovascular stamina to place a bag into the microwave, push a button, and wait up to three minutes?

John Cook · 04/29/13 09:00AM

If you are a nerd or a lady or a sportsman and would like to find out what's going on at other Gawker Media properties, but don't like Googling or typing out web site names, you can now find a handy drop-down menu next to our logo at the upper left of your computer screen. Click-click-click-click....

Frank Bruni Column Based Entirely on Things that Flickered Across His Laptop Screen One Lazy Afternoon

Hamilton Nolan · 02/11/13 09:28AM

Well-meaning but inept New York Times columnist Frank Bruni is living proof that being a newspaper columnist is harder than it looks. As a normal newspaper writer and food critic, he seemed like a smart, erudite guy; as a columnist, he has proven to be remarkably free of insight or interesting ideas of any sort. Say, did you catch Frank Bruni's column Sunday entitle "The Land of the Binge?" If not, allow us to sum it up for you.

Home Delivery of Fast Food Is the Inevitable Next Step

Hamilton Nolan · 01/17/12 11:15AM

When the topic of "What America really needs" comes up, one answer inevitably surfaces as a common refrain: less labor-intensive access to fast food. Your dream may soon come true, America.

Watching Video on Televisions Is Too Much Effort Now

Adrian Chen · 08/01/11 05:09PM

In the beginning, humans had to physically rouse themselves from their couches to change the channel on the TV. Then, there were remotes. Now, our laziness has evolved to the point where we just stare at our phones.

American Time Management Is the Worst

Hamilton Nolan · 06/23/11 11:15AM

One positive side effect of our entire nation being unemployed: we're spending less time at work! The Labor Department's latest annual survey of what the hell we do with all our time found that we, as a nation, work less than four hours on the average weekday—six minutes less than in 2009. Layabouts! And what are we doing with our abundant free time? Laying about! From the WSJ:

Meet the Laziest Dog in the World

Christopher Han · 12/30/10 02:00PM

This English bulldog does not want to move. At all. Drag him if you want. But, at the end of the video, you'll see that a simple change in direction (towards home) is all he needs to cooperate.

Environmentalists Make Exception For Little Plastic Coffee Cups

Hamilton Nolan · 08/04/10 10:00AM

I'm no "LEED certified environmental consultant" or "person with a grasp of basic science," but it seems to me that brewing coffee one cup at a time via disposable plastic "K-cups" is a mite wasteful. Well, that's just "consumer perception."

Advertising Gives Up

Hamilton Nolan · 11/02/09 12:40PM

You people always have something slick to say about our ads. You think you're so fucking smart? You figure out the ads, then. We'll just sit here while you work for free. Uh, we mean...Do the Dewmocracy™!